CHICAGO (Reuters) – January 29, 2020 – Many more Americans have been using prescription drugs to treat mental illness since 1996, in part because of expanded insurance coverage and greater familiarity with the drugs among primary care doctors, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday.
They said 73 percent more adults and 50 percent more children are using drugs to treat mental illness than in 1996.
Among adults over 65, use of so-called psychotropic drugs — which include antidepressants, antipsychotics and Alzheimer’s medicines — doubled between 1996 and 2006.
“What we generally find is there has been an increase in access to care for all populations,” said Sherry Glied of Columbia University in New York, whose study appears in the journal Health Affairs.
”Mental health has become much more a part of mainstream medical care,” Glied said in a telephone interview.
In 2006, they said 16 percent of adults 65 and older had some form of mental health diagnosis.
The researchers culled data from several large public surveys of health in the United States, including from the National Center for Health Statistics, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and the Social Security Administration.
Glied said expanded drug coverage under Medicare, the federal insurance program for the elderly, and the State Children’s Health Insurance Program for poor children, helped make such drugs more affordable.
The study found the number of children diagnosed and treated for mental health conditions by their primary care doctor doubled between 1996 and 2006.
”The increases in prescription drug use were particularly rapid in the early part of this decade, between 1996 to 2001,” Glied said. “For most groups, they have slowed down since then.”
The researchers did not report total numbers of people treated or calculate the dollar value of the drugs taken.
One worrisome finding, Glied said, was that there has been little progress in access to care among people with more serious mental illness. They found treatment for older adults with mental limitations who need help dressing, eating, or bathing fell between 1996 and 2006.
About 7 percent of Americans with serious mental illness wind up in jail or prison every year, the researchers said.
”New policies are desperately needed to reduce the flow of people whose primary problem is a mental disorder into the criminal justice system,” wrote Glied and colleague Richard Frank of Harvard Medical School.
While the study shows expanded mental health coverage for people with insurance, especially for those covered in government health plans, they said the ongoing recession and swelling ranks of the uninsured will likely mean less mental health coverage for many Americans in the near future.
Did I really think there would be down time from the whole BRCA stress? Nope, that’s never going to happen. I’m just going to have to learn how to manage the stress better. Learning about my genetic mutation has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. It’s not all bad stress. But today, it’s leaning toward the darker end. My daughter, almost 18, no longer wants to wait to get her genetic testing done. She had in her mind that she will get the prophylactic bilateral mastectomy as soon as possible if she is positive for the mutation. We, obviously, have a lot of talking to do. The main thing I want her to consider is the impact on breastfeeding when she does have children. This surgery is a big step to take and she’ll be missing out on something I consider to be one of the biggest blessings in having children.
I told my husband and literally flipped out. Ali is very young to make this decision, I get it. I just don’t want to make this decision harder than it has to be for her. She is, ultimately, the one who has to make the decision about her own body. She remembers the death of my father, who was like a father to her as well. She was old enough to know the pain we all suffered with my mother’s illness. My mother’s death did it’s damage to her. Like me, she’s terrified of what the genes have in store for her. I won’t tell her she can’t have the testing done. I won’t tell her she can’t have the surgery. I just pray her test is negative so we don’t have to go down that road.
Ali’s never been one of the girls who is focused intently on her appearance. Yeah, we can be late someplace because she’s taken too long getting ready. That’s in her genes, too. What can I say? But, overall, she is so far from the hair/makeup type girl that it’s actually frustrating to me at times. She’s never cared about boobs. In fact, growing up, her whole thinking was “less is more”. Now that she may be faced with this decision to have them removed and reconstructed, I know it’s easy for her to say “let’s do it.” That is not a make or break part of her body image. I’m proud of that, yet it worries me. I don’t want this decision to be easy. Yes, I want her to be comfortable and happy with whatever she decides to do, but I want it to be a heavy decision.
This is my funny, beautiful, strong willed, incredibly intelligent, stubborn, true spirited, angelic daughter. My baby girl whose hands I look at now and still see the little baby girl hand holding mine. My girl who used to laugh so hard it would make her get hiccups and when she was a little baby she would spit up from laughing so hard. That was a warning I had to give everyone. You’re gonna make her barf if you keep that up. But her laugh was infectious and hilarious, so she spat up a lot. This is my girl who I used to watch sleep, marveling at how big her eyes looked even when they were closed. I used to watch her run on the soccer field with the other little ones, chasing the ball all over the field, bunching around the ball, not knowing what to do once she was close enough to actually kick it. My girl who’s true spirit held me physically and emotionally when my dad was taken away. My girl who’s courage blew me away over the years of riding horses and getting thrown, a lot. She rode the biggest breeds, making it look so easy. She even made falling off look easy, landing on her feet a couple of times. My girl, who is now grown and looking for colleges. She loves to engage me in conversations that will frustrate me, things like philosophy and alternate universes, things I can’t get my brain around. My girl, who has become my friend, who I am ultimately proud of and would fight to the death to protect.
So, we are scheduling an appointment with a genetic counselor for her to be tested. They may not test her until she’s 18, but that’s in April so I’m hoping they’ll do it. Then we’ll do the counseling part and maybe even a regular counselor to cover all the bases. I just want to make sure she makes the right decision for the right reasons. I don’t even know how old she’ll have to be to do the surgery. I saw there was an 18 year old in England who had it done. I didn’t tell Ali. If she’s positive, a lot of things will have to be considered and it will be a long, emotional road.
Wheelersburg Child Missing
by Frank Lewis
5 months ago | 4961 views | 2 | 40 | |
slideshow
A child missing from Wheelersburg is officially listed on the Web site for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and her mother is in the Scioto County Jail on contempt charges.
Jaelyn Rice, a 4-year-old, described as having blonde hair and blue eyes, has been missing since July 16, but did not become listed as missing until last week when her father, Stephen A. Rice, of 4813 West Flamingo Road, Tampa, Fla., issued a missing persons report. Prior to the filing, the incident was being treated as a domestic dispute because the mother reportedly knows where the child is but refuses to give the whereabouts of the child to authorities.
The mother, Cherish N. Lewis, of 709 Herms Hill Road, Wheelersburg, is incarcerated in the Scioto County Jail, and according to Scioto County Sheriff Marty V. Donini, has been ordered to remain in jail until she reveals the whereabouts of the child.
Judge Frederick W. Crow III, was assigned to hear the case after a conflict in the original case, involving Judge David Spears in Scioto County Domestic Relations Court, resulted in that court contacting the Ohio Supreme Court for someone to come in and hear the case.
Donini said the Sheriff’s Office became involved last week.
“Last week around Wednesday or Thursday, we had an interference with custody report, which was actually given to us by the (Portsmouth) Police Department,” Donini said. “The PD had the child entered and they took the child out of NCIC (National Crime Information Center) as a missing person. Our people put it in the day we got the report which was probably a week ago or longer.”
Donini said, after a discussion, he determined it was not a missing person case because the biological mother knew the child’s whereabouts.
“We brought her (Lewis) out and questioned her and asked if the child is missing. And she basically said no, she knows exactly where the child is,” Donini said. “She’s just not going to tell the judge.”
Donini said his office was in communication with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the Ohio Attorney General’s Office, and with Scioto County Prosecutor Mark Kuhn, and the decision was made not to enter the child’s name in the registry.
Donini said, after a conversation with the Ohio State Highway Patrol’s LEADS (Law Enforcement Automated Data System) officials, he was told the child could not be entered into the system unless a missing person report is filed.
After Scioto County Sheriff’s Detective Jodi Conkel contacted the father in Florida, he filed the report, “because he’s the custodial parent, and he did not know where the child was at that point and time. LEADS said, based on that, we could re-enter the child. And that’s what we did, re-enter her, based on that,” Donini said. “Normally, a missing person, no one knows where they are. But in this case, someone does know, which is the mother, which is not the custodial parent.”
Donini said a tip lead them to a residence on Coriell Road, where they were permitted to search, but found no sign of the child.
Donini said this isn’t the first time Lewis has been jailed for contempt of court.
Lewis was reportedly booked on Aug. 1, 2007, and released on Aug. 22, 2007, and booked again on Sept. 22, 2006. That time she was released on Sept. 28, 2007.
Attorney J.B. Marshall, Jr., who had represented Lewis, told the Portsmouth Daily Times Monday he recently won a unanimous decision in an appeal in the case, in the Court of Appeals.
Marshall expects to make a copy of the briefs filed by his office and the ruling in the case on Tuesday for a possible follow-up story on the case.
Lewis’ current attorney, Holly Regoli of Lancaster, was not immediately reachable Monday.
FRANK LEWIS may be reached at (740) 353-3101, ext. 232.
This little potato I painted a while back and while he’s not in my usual style, I’ve always felt there was something pretty special about him. He even has a little poem of his own…
The Potato
Like a small infant cradled in the ground,
In dark cool soil the potato is found!
Sleeping so peaceful in a land far away,
Nestled at the bottom of a hot summer’s day.
A man’s hands dig and push soft dirt aside,
Then hungrily says, “How would you like to be fried!?”
The potato is scrubbed to his bare naked skin,
Then peeled, shaved, and chopped so thin.
Poor potato is fried in a burning hot pan,
Then chewed up and swallowed, into the man.
Today I got him out of my files and put him in my kitchen!
as of today cepceindia organization is in its nascent stages, taking its initial steps. the website – http://cepceindia.org/ – is still under development and lot of other initiatives, programs are not listed there.
people in hyderabad, if interested to be part of children of the forest – a tribal school, please get in touch with any of the cepce team members listed on their website.
if you like breathe initiative please join their meetup group. when you can join salsa hyderabad why not breathe??
Last week my 7 yrs old daughter and I participated of the annual MLK march in Seattle. We got up early made some lunch, pack our bags and took the bus to Garfield High School, which is where the workshops, rally and the march starts. We walked several miles to downtown. Catie is a girl full of energy and questions. Part of our ritual of preparation to this event is to spend some days talking about the legacy of Dr. King, the civil rights movement and solidarity for freedom and liberation in the current time. However no matter how much we read and discuss, the part that make her realize the importance of these people, events and questions is when she find herself surrounded by the multicultural sea of people whom she is marching with.
Catie- “I do not call this the march.”
me – and why not?
C- “because to me the march is when people start singing and chanting.”
m – so it is not enough to walk?
C- “No. We gotta make noise so everybody know we are here.” “what do want? Justice! … when do we want it? Now!”
Tonight I had to make a choice. I had to be that tough lovin’ mama, the one who sees her child made a mistake and then holds them accountable. Moe may only be 4 years old, but he knew he had lied. A dear friend tended to Biena and Moe while I was at the horse lot with Bubs and Curly. While Moe was there he broke a toy, a toy filled with water. When confronted about this he apparently decided it would be best to blame my friends child for the broken toy. Keep in mind the child he was casting blame on wasn’t even in the room when it happened.
My friend did not mention this little incident to me when I arrived to pick Moe and Biena up. No, that luxury belonged to Biena, my personal talking tabloid. I asked Moe about the incident to which he replied, ”but I didn’t break it mama, _____ did.”
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t telling the truth. His eyes never lie.
I looked him in those tell all eyes of his and said, ”if it was an accident you really should tell me, I am sure you would never break your friends toy on purpose”.
His eyes, big and full of sorrow looked up towards me as he uttered under his breath, ”I’m sorry, I broke it”
We hugged for a minute and then I made him do something very difficult. I made him apologize to my friend.
Oh, that was a hard phone call. Hard for Moe, and hard for me. He struggled so, with those apologetic words. His sweet little face fell as he said he was sorry. The tears welled up in his eyes and mine. My tears were not because I felt sorry for him, rather I was proud of him for not throwing the phone at me, hiding in his room, and refusing to say he was sorry.
When you are the baby of the family you tend to get away with more than you should. This was a hard lesson for him. It was though, necessary.
From one mom to another…. teach them when they are young to make the right choices, make them accountable for the not so great choices they’ll make. It is how they learn. It is part of the foundation for who they will become.
Tonight was a Date Night for me. My date got to choose; we saw the chipmunk movie and went to “The Calcium King” (that’s what Racer and I call it when we want to decide in front of the kids if we want to go there or not). As you might have guessed, my date was my 8-year-old Professor.
For Christmas, Racer and I gave our two oldest kids gift certificates for time out with just mom or dad – alone. Sometimes I think they get jipped when it comes to time with us. So today, Professor turned his “date night” card into me and we went out. It was so sweet too. Of course I paid (after all, he doesn’t have a job as he put it) and he held open the door. Seriously, my 8-year-old held the door for me. We got popcorn, drinks and candy. I chuckled; he laughed. We shared. He was so tired, but didn’t really want to fall asleep in the car. We went for ice cream because that was the plan and I don’t think Professor wanted to alter his plan or miss out on the ice cream. He looked at me with sleepy, tummy filled, loving eyes and said…
I like you.
I loved hearing him say that. I think love is just assumed between a parent and child. Love is something that is just there – a given that will never change. We just know that we love each other – almost like just knowing that there will be hot lunch available at school. Parent/child love just is…
But liking the other is another matter all together. We may know that hot lunch will be at school, but whether we like what is served is another matter all together. I like that my kid likes me. I like to hear my Professor say “I like you Mommy” with all the love that is in his heart. I will treasure those words.
I like you, my Absent-minded Professor. You are my favorite Professor in the whole wide world.
Everybody have some feelings for others. This might include love,anger,care.affection and anger too. Unexpressed feelings always goes as a waste. When you are not speaking in the needed situation the unexpressed words loses its respect. Lets take one friendship as an example. In friendship love and affection plays a vital role. Sometimes misunderstandings might happen between them. If any of them is not expressing what they feel at that moment the relation might break. Even in a family if we take the relation between a father and a son,the love and affection is easily understood by his children. But when the father is angry because of his son’s particular behavior, he can express it to his son that it was wrong and he didn’t like it. The son can explain the situation to him. There comes the understanding.
When we are hurt we should tell the person that “i am hurt”..”these words hurted me. when we are happy we smile. when we are sad we cry. Try to express your anger and hurt in a calmer and stern way as the words should explain the hurt. Sometimes our silence will also express our hurt . In certain situations we need to just walk away because words might cause bigger damage to the relationships. But keeping silence does not work all the time. We need to speak where we have to. Later sitting alone and thinking that “we should have done this or should have told this " is not right. Sometimes we might hurt our loved ones with harsh words. Later we would have felt bad for that. Simply saying, if you feel bad for how you behaved say the magic word “sorry” .
How many of us do say “Thank you” to an auto man,shopkeeper,the servant who helped you when you were ill or to the bus driver who made your journey safe or the postman who gave you your appointment letter. How many of us consider them to say that small word which has a bigger value. Just try saying it to them you can see a smile at their face which will make you happy.
Without knowing the actual truth we would have hurted our own child thinking that it had done something wrong’ Please go and apologize to your child,no matter how old is he/she. Never take anyone for granted. It can be your parents,siblings,children,friends or your loved ones. When the feelings are not expressed in the right time to a right person all that we can cherish is the memories and not the relationship.
I use the bank’s automated phone system to balance the checkbook. Today I held my breath in anticipation, or maybe I was bracing myself; afraid of another twelve cent check. Fortunately it was enough to cover the car payment and a little extra. Which is good because my daughter has the flu. I sound like a Ray Charles song “My bills are all due and the baby needs shoes and I’m busted.”
Mike’s not coming home this weekend. Not because baby girl has the flu, because he was asked/begged to take a load to somewhere in Texas. Or maybe he was supposed to meet another driver half way there and swap loads, I’m not sure. He kept calling me while Sarah was alternating between napping and vomiting. Also, I was learning how to enter codes and other baffling information into the computer for my first Avon order. I deleted the order twice and I’m still not sure if I did it correctly. If I didn’t, then I’ll have to send back two extra eyeliners.
Good grief it’s almost eleven and I should be in bed. With Sarah sick, I don’t foresee a full night sleep for either of us.
I know it sounds completely cliche but that’s exactly what my husband and I talked about this morning when he sent me these pictures. These children are some of the poor my husband and his unit have been attempting to help since they arrived in Iraq some 6 months ago. Today they were giving out care packages, for lack of a better term, that included some necessities like food and blankets. These kids have so little but they were so happy and excited just to see the soldiers. We have to remember what our influence will have on the adults these children will grow up to be; and all children for that matter. Our mission is far from complete over there but every little bit helps and will hopefully have made an impact on the future of these children.
I’m writing a children’s book. I know, I don’t have kids and children don’t even like Me, but I feel like I need to prepare the next generation for something….terrible. Cataclysmic. That’s all I can say.
I’ve looked up some other kid’s books, the one’s that lack taste. I have to say, breaking a complex topic down into a few well-chosen, easy to manage words is pretty damn hard. That’s why so many of these books shouldn’t exist, but I am so glad that They do. I needed a good laugh.
Here’s a great list, 10 books to traumatize Your children. It includes Alfie’s home, which should be called “You Aren’t Gay, just confused, because Uncle Pete Molested You”. Also, check out this collection of Anti-Semitic stories. You won’t find many kid’s books with stories about bacteria and tapeworms.
I’m sure these barely scratch the surface. Anyone with an agenda to push can cobble together a picture book. Check out Why Daddy is a Republican, not to be confused with Why Mommy is a Democrat. The later has a homeless man in the background on almost every page. Then there’s Mama Voted for Obama, a “colorful book of rhythm and rhyme”. hmmm….
The more I find, the more I want to put together My own reading rainbow.
One of the highlights of our Christmas season was our visit to Al Shurooq school for blind children (run by Helen Shehadeh, who is an elder at St Andrew’s) in time for their Christmas party. Their party for all the School children was on the 29th and we joined 20 excited young children waiting for their visit from Santa. I haven’t seen him myself for quite some time, so I was as excited as the children!
They sang Christmas songs as they waited for him to arrive. I think they must have been told to sing loudly so Santa could hear them and know where to come – so they sang with gusto. And it was fascinating listening to them sings songs I knew in English, but which had a new vitality sung in Arabic. I thought ‘Jingle Bells’ sounded particularly beautiful.
When Santa arrived he came in the usual red and white outfit, but he was young and had been on a diet! And he had a false red nose! Not what I expected – but exactly what the children expected, I’m sure. He was really happy giving the children their presents – most of which were supplied by the school, from donations given by friends. Most of the presents were musical instruments – keyboards, guitars, etc. Anything that makes a noise!
I think it was one of the best Christmas parties I have ever been to. What made it exceptionally good was that Margaret and I also had the privilege of taking Mrs Darinka Gardiner-Scott through with us. Darinka is aged 93 and is very good friends with Helen Shehadeh. It was great to be involved in the reunion – Darinka has not been out to Bethlehem for a number of years, so this was her first visit to the new school. Darinka is the widow of Bill Gardiner-Scott who was minister (twice) at St Andrew’s , Jerusalem in the 1950’s and 1960’s. When I first met her she said, “We have so much in common.” She then explained that Bill trained in theology in Edinburgh (he came originally from Bo’ness) and was ordained as a minister two months before the Second World War broke out. Bill and Darinka had lived and worshipped in Leith (where I came from but a year ago – that was the thing in common) and had many fond memories of the community.
In the Al Shurooq Christmas newsletter, the editor remembers back to the 29th December the previous year when the brutality of the war in Gaza also had a direct impact on the life of the school: “…two of our children, Lara and her brother Ahmad were prevented from going home at the last minute, and they were obliged to stay at school during the whole period of their Christmas holidays. It was a dreadful situation. Although we were glad that they escaped the war, yet we are quite certain that they must have suffered immensely on the quiet.”
I remember Lara and Ahmad well. When Margaret and I first visited the school in April 2009, the children still had not had the opportunity to go home.
Come On Everybody, Let’s Take A Trip To The Southwest United States. We’re Heading On Down To Mesa, AZ Today And Featuring UMOM New Day Center As The Focal Point Of Our Shelter Spotlight. The UMOM New Day Center Is Operated Under The Watchful Eye Of Miss Darlene Newsom Who Is The CEO Of The Shelter And Spear Heads The Oversight Of The Programs UMOM Provides Homeless Families In And Around The Mesa, AZ Area. The UMOM New Day Center Is Located At 3333 EAST VAN BUREN STREET, MESA, AZ 85008. THey Can Be Reached via Phone at: (602) 275-7852.
“UMOM New Day Centers has the wonderful privilege of impacting the lives of both adults and children through its programs. I believe that everyone deserves an opportunity, and this belief is foundational to our work in the community. If I had to explain in just one word what I love most about my work, it would be the children! We recently asked some of the children at the New Day Centers what they’d want, if they could have three wishes. They asked for many things that our own children take for granted. A few of the children wished for a car for their family. Some wished for good fortune or for money — to not be poor. One wished for a boyfriend and another wished for his father to get out of prison. But each child, without exception, wished for a home. It’s so hard to look in the eyes of children who may have never had what they would call a home. That’s why we do what we do. The home that we provide is temporary, but hopefully, with your help, we can equip these parents to provide a real home for these beautiful children“. – From Their Website – http://www.umom.org
My confession? Last evening, I lost my temper and patience with my dearest daughter and slapped her. Not a hard slap; a jolt with my fingertips on her cheek. Not enough to hurt her, just shock and upset her and hurt me.
Let me tell you the story that led to this very weak moment…
Friday night, I was tired. Really tired. Physically, Mentally and emotionally.
I had an extremely busy work week – insanely busy even. I’d worked out HARD everyday (starting two new exercise classes), kids were back in their activities and lots of homework, I had another new adventure to think about that came up this week and I’d been trying to cram in and catch up on reading/writing I had to get done.
I knew I was tired. I knew it, and I ignored it. I did not listen to my body.
We had plans to go out to a friend’s place, have a bevy and play a board game. Something we try to do regularly. Krystal was also starting her exercise group after supper and I wanted to support her in that.
I went to her exercise class. My body complained about it pretty much every step of the way. That was Sign #1. I ignored my body and pushed through.
We then went out to the friend’s place. We had fun, but stayed later than we planned, I was yawning constantly – Sign #2. All of us were taking our kids to see the Olympic Torch run through town early the next morning. Thankfully, I only drank 1 drink.
The next morning came and we were in a rush to get everyone downtown to see the Torch – not something I was willing to have my kids miss. I found myself yelling at my very tired daughter – they had been up late too waiting for us to pick them up from the babysitters. She wanted to go, was tired and hungry, and was overwhelmed by the prospect of finding something to wear. I yelled several times at her before we finally got out the door – Sign #3.
We walked down to see the relay and my 10 year old daughter had more maturity than her lunatic mother – she apologized to me for being uncooperative. She apologized to ME – the person that was yelling at HER. I didn’t see the irony in that until today; that was Sign #4.
We then had plans to do our monthly group “cooking” day. This is a new thing we three families are doing – getting together to compile 6 to 8 freezer meals for the family. A great idea that will save us money, time, and frustration when we don’t know what to have for supper. Ready-made (and homemade, healthy) meals in the freezer. Anyway, we had planned to do this yesterday. The first time we did it, the kids weren’t around. This time, ALL the kids were around.
You can guess how many times we were interrupted. How many times we had them underfoot. How we had to squeeze in getting some lunch for them, etc. It was fun and very worth it; but I could feel my impatience and frustration and even resentment that we had to deal with the kids while we were trying to accomplish this task! You can imagine how much stuff is everywhere when you’re trying to compile a recipe for 6 meals at once! I knew I was on the breaking point. Again, I ignored it – Sign #5.
Then, when we were done, we were babysitting some of the kids back at our house. The girls wanted to bake in the Easy-Bake oven. They made a mistake and asked for my help. I helped, but I noticed my lack of patience as a heaved several big sighs at the mess and trying to repair their mistakes. I was clearly annoyed. Again, the 10 year old daughter apologized over and over and I just got more annoyed. Sign #6.
Afterward, I decided to go downstairs and try to watch a movie with my husband while the kids played. We must have been called upstairs at least 5 times by the kids. Each time, I would sigh or curse under my breath and go grumpy up the stairs to attend to whatever the need was. Sign #7.
Finally, it was supper time. My husband had made supper, clearly in fear of me being grumpy, so he offered to make it. I knew he was tippy-toeing around me. I could tell. Again, I ignored it. Sign #8.
I allowed the kids to eat in the living room simply because I didn’t want to deal with the fight. I took their food out there, found myself barking at them to eat at the coffee table, not all over the place. My poor daughter was the last one in there because she and her brother had been play-wrestling (that I had yelled about a few minutes prior – Sign #9) and she was the last to get over to the table.
She didn’t get the “spot” she wanted. She whined. I completely SNAPPED. I grabbed her food and yelled at her that she would then have to sit in the kitchen by herself. She whined some more. Then she yelled back at me as I yelled at her. My husband stood there and watched the scene, saying nothing. It was then that I slapped her and she stormed off to her room and slammed her door.
I yelled at my husband about kids and their back talk and fighting amongst themselves etc. etc. He just listened, didn’t say anything. Suddenly, I just listened to myself. I found myself seeing all of those signs from the day. I knew that I had screwed up, especially with my daughter. I decided to correct it right then and there.
I went to her door and knocked. She didn’t say anything, but I went in anyway and immediately apologized to her. I apologized for the slap and the yelling. Most of all, I admitted that I had lost my temper and my patience and I apologized for that. I apologized for the mistakes I’d made all day. And I hugged her. A LOT. I explained that I was tired and that it was my own fault that I was tired and apologized for taking it out on her.
Now, some may disagree with me for apologizing to my daughter. Some say you shouldn’t let them see your weaknesses. I disagree. I think my kids need to know that it’s ok to make mistakes; that the important thing is to learn from them and try to fix it right away. I wanted my daughter to know that I knew that I had messed up and that I wanted to fix it. I wanted her to know that my behavior was inappropriate.
This all stemmed from the fact that I was so very tired. I did not listen to my body. I did not get the rest I needed after that week. I knew that I had a busy Saturday planned, and yet, I did not get to bed at a decent time. I ignored the signs that I was too tired to deal with things properly.
Part of fitness is listening to your body and getting the rest you need. I had even read a Happiness Project post this very week about the importance of sleep, yet I did not do that for myself, on Friday in particular.
That is my confession. The terrible mistake I made all because I didn’t get enough sleep.
I will learn from this though. I will try harder next time. I will try to listen to my body when it says, “Hey you! I’m tired! Time to get some rest!”
Last night, I went to bed at around 8:30. I could barely read a page (I always read at bedtime) before my lids were getting heavy. I listened. I turned off the light and got up at 6:30 today, refreshed, and ready to go again! And today will be a day of rest.
Find in this demanding and competitive world, many people have a tendency to work too hard, where it is difficult to achieve an appropriate work and private life. I do not have enough time to spend with their children? I am too stressed? It all sounds familiar? If so, you probably know to appreciate articles that introduce selective toys and games that will take as parents and children. Hopefully, this will allow you to spend quality fun with your children andalso takes the protection of your ideas work and stress is reduced.
Remote control toys
Radio-controlled toys such as helicopters and cars provide the excitement that children and adults desire and interaction between parents and their children. Depending on what you can buy these toys enjoyed inside or outside in the garden, garden or park. Most RC toys are relatively easy to control, especially when under adult supervision andSuitable for children aged 8 years.
Puzzle
I tell riddles. There are a number of interesting puzzles in the market, such as the tripod Cmetric puzzle too, and of course very popular Sudocube, which comes in cubes, as well as the traditional Rubik's cube. These puzzles are designed to promote critical thinking and encourage problem-solving skills, combining education and entertainment.
Solar Educational Toys
In today's climate of environmentalConsciousness, solar-powered toys and kits are not only fun but also to introduce kids of all ages, the concept of energy from renewable sources and offer a combination of adults and children, experience in building toys. Various solar-powered toys offer different degrees of difficulty in terms of installation, so you You can be sure that both will find challenging and fun for parents and child.
Active Toys
Whereas increases the risk of obesity in childrenalarming rate, it is important that we continue for creative ways to add activity into the daily lives of our children, who are looking for. There are many fun games that encourage physical activity and sport. Games like Dance Pad and rocket-ball games are a great way to achieve this.
Home Toys
Finally, there are many ways to commit cheap, your children and fun for parents and children. Nothing is better that the old fashion way of paper and kite-plane. Kids'A sense of pride in their dragon is undeniable. No dragons would have bought the children are placed so close to the mystery and physics of flight, as their own creations. Parents should certainly your children and how these toys, even the children were playing s. Teaching children how the toy can be memorable and meaningful way to spend time with them.
I hope I have given you some general ideas and concepts, as some toys forand games to both parents and child, which eventually reached the target to spend more time with their children, and hopefully serve as a stress release from work to enjoy. Include specific details on certain toys and games in this article, we encourage you to visit my web site.
Everything points to the terror of conflagration coming; and my mission is to preëmpt the fires by reestablishing dharma and the spiritual law of one God, one religion, one language [of the heart] embracing one humanity. … I want to build one humanity without any religious, caste or other barriers in a universal empire of love which could enable my devotees to feel the whole world as their family.
If God Himself is here to foster Dharma, and you engage yourself in the same task, then you are worshiping Him. Then you are near and dear to Him, for you are serving Him, His devotees, and yourself.
My Mission has now reached that point in time when each one of you now has work to do. This planet has a purpose in the great galaxy in which it is held. That purpose is now unfolding before your eyes. I call upon you to radiate the Devotion within you so that its unseen power will envelop all who come into your orbit. To successfully perform your part always remain centered upon me. Allow yourself to impart that purity of heart within you towards all human beings and all living creatures and do not reach for the fruits of your work. This part of My Mission is performed in absolute silence. You are My instruments from whom My love will pour. Be always aware that the moment you let your ego descend upon you, My work ceases. When you have overcome your negative unmindfulness you will again become My source. The multiplication of My Love will be felt throughout the world. I have drawn you to Me. I have made great steps in My Mission over these past Incarnations.
So, in your lives, by your examples, live and practise My message, knowing that some will understand and others will not. Have no concern with the outcome of your efforts, for some people are ready and others are not. Each one is free to go his own way in his own time. Many will choose to remain in darkness with all the attachments that hold them back from the true path. But, eventually, their time will come and, one day, all will be re-united in the Kingdom of God.
-Sathya Sai Baba
courtesy Cosmic Harmony.
http://www.cosmicharmony.com
Cosmic Harmony has remained one of my favourite websites. The webmaster designed and created it some ten years ago – perhaps more? He’s does not visited Sai Baba in India, but his selections of Sai Baba writings and choice of quotations are all quite wonderful. I am very grateful to him for allowing us to publish several of Sai’s quotations here. - thanks
Every child is born with tremendous love for himself. It is the society that destroys that love, it is the religion that destroys that love because if a child goes on growing in loving himself, who is going to love Jesus Christ? Who is going to love the president, Who is going to love the parentsThe child’s love for himself has to be distracted. He has to be conditioned so that his love is always towards an object outside himself.
It makes man very poor, because when you love somebody outside of yourself, whether it is God, the pope, the father, the wife, the husband, the children whoever is the object of your love it makes you dependent on the object. You become secondary in your own eyes, you become a beggar. You were born an emperor, utterly contented within yourself. But the father wants you to love him, the mother wants you to love her. Everybody around you wants to become an object for your love.
Nobody bothers that a man who cannot love himself cannot love anybody else either. So a very mad society is created where everybody is trying to love somebody — and they have nothing to give. Nor has the other person anything to give. Why are lovers continuously fighting, nagging, harassing each other? The simple reason is they are not getting what they were thinking to get. Both are beggars, both are empty.
A rightly brought up child will be allowed to grow in love towards himself so that he becomes so full of love that sharing becomes a necessity. He is so burdened with love that he wants somebody to share it. And then love never makes you dependent on anybody. You are the giver; the giver is never a beggar. And the other is also a giver. And when two emperors, masters of their own hearts, meet, there is tremendous joy. Nobody is dependent on anybody else; everybody is independent and individual, well-centered in himself, well-grounded in himself.
He has roots which go deep down within his being, from where the juice called love comes towards the surface and blossoms in thousands of roses. This type of person has not been possible up to now because of your prophets, your messiahs, your incarnations of God, and all other kinds of idiots. They have destroyed you for their own glory, for their own ego. They have crushed you utterly. You can see the logic.
Either the messiah, the savior, becomes the object of your love, and you become just shadows blindly following him; or if you are fully contented, overflowing with love and blossoming in thousands of roses, then who cares to be saved? — you are already saved. Who cares about paradise? — you are in it. The priest will die if you learn how to love yourself, the politician will not have followers; all the vested interests in society will go bankrupt. They are all thriving on a very subtle psychological exploitation of you.
But learning to love oneself is not difficult, it is natural. If you have been able to do something which is unnatural, if you have learned how to love others without loving yourself, then the other thing is very simple. You have done the almost impossible. It is only a question of understanding, a simple understanding, that “I am to love myself; otherwise I will miss the meaning of life. I will never grow up, I will simply grow old. I will not have any individuality. I will not be truly human, dignified, integrated.”
And moreover, if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love anybody else in the world. So many psychological problems have arisen because you have been distracted from yourself. You are unworthy, you are not what you should be; your actions have to be corrected. You have to be molded into a certain personality. In Japan they have four-hundred-year-old trees, but their height is only six inches. They think that it is a form of art. It is murder, sheer murder! The tree looks ancient, but is only six inches high.
It would have been one hundred feet high, reaching towards the stars. What have they done? What strategy have they used? The same strategy has been used against humanity, human beings. They put the tree in a pot which has no bottom. So whenever the tree grows its roots, they go on cutting them, because there is no bottom to the pot. The roots they go on cutting, and unless roots grow deeper, the tree cannot rise higher. It grows old, but it never grows up. Exactly the same has been done with human beings.
Your love for yourself is a basic necessity for your growth. Hence, to be selfish which is natural. All your religions have been teaching you to be altruistic. Sacrifice yourself for any idiotic idea: the flag just a rotten piece of cloth. You sacrifice yourself to the nation which is nothing but fantasy, because the earth is not divided anywhere into nations. It is the politicians’ cunningness, to divide the earth on the map. You are sacrificing for the lines drawn on the maps!
Die for your religion: Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Mohammedanism. And they have managed it in such a way that the individual is caught. If you die for your nation you will be called a martyr , you are simply committing suicide, and that too for a foolish reason. If you die for your religion you will reach paradise, you will enjoy eternal blessings. They have manipulated you. But one thing is basic in that manipulation, that is, don’t love yourself; hate yourself, because you are not worth anything.
Everybody is full of hate for himself. And do you think if you hate yourself you can find someone who is going to love you? Even you are not ready to love yourself; it is impossible for anybody else to love you. You have accepted the idea that unless you follow certain rules, religious dogmas, political ideologies, you are not of any worth. When you were born, you were not born as a Christian, as a Catholic; you were not born as a communist. Every child comes into the world as a tabula rasa, completely clean.
Nothing is written on him — the Bible, Koran, Gita, Das Kapital– no, nothing is written on him. He brings no holy book with himself. He comes in utter innocence. But his innocence becomes his greatest trouble, because all around him are wolves — hiding in politicians, in priests, in parents, in teachers. They all jump upon your innocence. They start writing things on you which later on you will believe is your heritage. They have destroyed your heritage. Now it is possible for them to enslave you, to make you do anything they want.
If they want you to murder innocent people. There are religious mafias, there are political mafias, and they go on exploiting you. They may be enemies to each other, but on one point they all agree: that a man should not be allowed to love himself. That cuts his roots from his own being, and then he is helpless, rootless, just a driftwood, so whatever you want to make of him you can. The people of this country were killing innocent, poor people in Vietnam. What business was it of theirs? And it was not one-sided.
You were sending your own, who have not tasted anything of life, to kill and to be killed in the name of democracy, in the name of America. But why should one sacrifice oneself in any name? Mohammedans and Christians have been fighting, killing each other, in the name of God. Both are fighting and killing in the same name — God. A strange world we have created! But the strategy is very simple: destroy the person’s natural love for himself.
Then he is so unworthy in his own eyes, he is ready to do anything for a gold medal, just to feel a little worth — that he is also somebody. Do you see on your generals many colored stripes? What kind of stupidity is this? Those stripes go on growing as the general goes on killing himself, destroying himself. You can have all those colors on your shirts. I don’t think there is any law that can prevent it, but you will look simply foolish. Those generals, they don’t look foolish, they are respected;they are great heroes. And what have they done?
They have murdered many people of your country, they have murdered many people of other countries. These murderers are rewarded. Have you seen any society rewarding its lovers? No, lovers are to be condemned. No society allows lovers any respect; love is an anathema to society. So the first thing all these vested interests have to do is distract you from love and they have succeeded up to now.
Millions of years.and man has remained a slave, feeling a deep inferiority complex in himself, unworthiness, because he is not able to fulfill all that is required of him. In fact, whatever is required is so unnatural that there is no way to fulfill it. And on your worthlessness the messiahs go on becoming bigger and bigger, because they say, they promise that they are the saviors; they are going to save you. You cannot save yourself. They never allowed you to learn swimming. On your own you can only be drowned.
The politicians go on giving you hope that soon there will be no poverty — and poverty goes on growing. It is not decreasing it is increasing In Ethiopia thousands of people are dying every day. And you will be surprised, in America there are half a million people who are suffering from overeating, obesity; they go on becoming fatter and fatter. In Ethiopia people are shrinking, starving and dying. In America people are dying from overeating, in Ethiopia they are dying because they have nothing to eat.
Do you think this world that we have created is sane? Half of India is going to face the same fate as Ethiopia soon and India’s government is selling wheat, exporting wheat to the outside world. Their own people are going to die — not in small numbers: fifty percent of India is just on the borderline. Any moment it can become a bigger Ethiopia. But the political leaders are selling the wheat to other countries because they want nuclear plants, atomic energy, so they can also compete in the foolish race that is going on.
Anybody can see that it will take at least three hundred years for India to be a nuclear power equal to America or the Soviet Union. And do you think for these three hundred years America and the Soviet Union will simply wait? They will be growing in the same direction of destruction and death. All this has happened in the name of altruism.
Love yourself, be yourself. Don’t be distracted by any type of people religious, political, social, educational. Your first responsibility is neither towards religion nor towards nation.
Your first responsibility is towards yourself. And just see: if everybody is loving himself, caring about himself, his intelligence will come to its peak, his love will be overflowing. To me, the philosophy of selfishness will make him really altruistic because he will have so much to share, so much to give, that giving will become a joy to him, that sharing will be a celebration to him. Altruism can only be a by-product of self-love. Because you don’t love yourself, you feel weak — because love is nourishment, it is your strength.
Naturally, how can you feel responsible? You go on throwing your responsibility on somebody else’s shoulders. God is responsible, fate is responsible, Adam and Eve are responsible. The serpent who seduced Eve to disobey God — that serpent is responsible. Can you see the idiocy of all this dumping your responsibility on somebody? — a serpent, perhaps millions of years ago…
serpents don’t have ears, ears are not part of their physiology. And if they cannot hear, how can they speak? And how could they persuade Eve? But we have to dump our responsibility on somebody else. Adam dumps it on Eve. Eve dumps it on the serpent. The serpent — if he could speak — would dump it on God. This way we go on throwing our responsibility, without understanding that unless your are responsible for yourself you are not truly an individual.
Shirking responsibility is destructive to your individuality. But you can accept responsibility only when you have tremendous love for yourself. I accept my responsibility, and I rejoice in it. I have never dumped my responsibility on anybody else, because that is losing freedom, that is becoming enslaved, at the mercy of others. Whatsoever I am, I am wholly and solely responsible for it. This gives me a great strength. It gives me roots, centering. But the source of this responsibility is, I love myself.
Taken as a prisoner into paradise, do you think you can enjoy it? Going into paradise following Jesus Christ, or Moses, or Buddha, or Krishna — what kind of paradise will that be, where you are expected to be blind believers; you cannot ask a question, you cannot inquire about anything. That paradise will be worse than hell. But people have been distracted from their very source. I want you to come back home.
Respect yourself. Feel the joy and the pride that existence needs you; otherwise you would not have been here. Rejoice that existence cannot be without you. In the first place that’s why you are here: existence has given you an opportunity, a life with tremendous treasures hidden within you — of beauty, of ecstasy, of freedom. But you are not existential! You are Christian, you are Buddhist, you are Hindu. And I want you only to believe in one thing: existence. There is no need to go to any synagogue or any church.
If you cannot experience the sky, the stars, the sunset, the sunrise, the flowers blossoming, the birds singing…. The whole of existence is a sermon! Not prepared by some stupid priest — it is all over the place. You just need to trust yourself; that is another name for loving yourself. And when you trust and love yourself, obviously you have taken all the responsibility of whatever you are, whoever you are, upon your own shoulders. That gives such a tremendous experience of being that nobody can enslave you again.
Can you see the beauty of an individual who is capable of standing on his own feet? And whatever happens — joy or sorrow, life or death — the man who has loved himself is so integrated that he will be able not only to enjoy life, he will be able to enjoy death too. Socrates was punished by his society. People like Socrates are bound to be punished, because they are individuals and they don’t allow anybody to dominate them. He was given poison. He was lying in the bed and the man who was going to give him poison was preparing it.
The sun was setting — that was the right time. The court had given the exact time, but the man was delaying in preparing the poison. Socrates asked the man, “Time is passing, the sun is setting — what is the delay?” The man could not believe that somebody who is going to die is so particular about the right time for his own death. In fact, he should be thankful for the delay. The man loved Socrates. He had heard him in the court and seen the beauty of the person: he alone had more intelligence than the whole of Athens.
He wanted to delay a little more so Socrates could live a little more. But Socrates would not allow him. He said, “Don’t be lazy. Just bring the poison.” The man giving poison to Socrates asked him, “Why are you so excited? I see such radiance on your face, I see such enquiry in your eyes. Don’t you understand? — you are going to Die.”
Socrates said, “That’s what I want to know. Life, I have known. It was beautiful; with all its anxieties, anguishes, still it was a joy. Just to breathe is joy enough. I have lived, I have loved; I have done whatever I wanted to do, I have said whatever I wanted to say. Now I want to taste death — and the sooner the better.
“There are only two possibilities: either my soul will go on living in other forms as the Eastern mystics say — that is a great excitement, to go on that journey of the soul free from the burden of the body. The body is a cage, it has limitations. Or perhaps the materialists are right, that when your body dies everything dies. Nobody remains afterwards. That too, is a great excitement — not to be!
“I know what it means to be, and the moment has come to know what it means not to be. And when I am no more, what is the problem? Why should I be worried about it? I will not be there to worry, so why waste time now?”
This is the man who loves himself. Even the responsibility of death he has chosen — because the court had nothing against him; it was just public prejudice, the prejudice of the mediocre people who could not understand the great flights of intelligence of Socrates. But they were in the majority, and they all decided on death for Socrates.
They could not answer a single argument proposed by him. I think they could not even understand what he was saying — answering was out of the question. And he destroyed all their arguments; still, it was a city democracy — the people decided that this man is dangerous, he should be given poison. What was his fault? His fault was that “He makes our youth rebellious, he makes our youth skeptical, he makes our youth strange. He creates a gap between the older generation and the younger generation.
They don’t listen to us anymore, they argue about everything — and it is because of this man.”
But the judges were a little better than the common people. They said to Socrates, “We give you a few alternatives. If you leave Athens and promise never to come back again, you can save yourself from death. Or, if you want to remain in Athens, then stop speaking, go into silence. Then too we can persuade the people to let you live. Otherwise, the third alternative is: tomorrow as the sun sets you will have to drink poison.”
What did Socrates do? He said, “I am ready to take the poison tomorrow or today, whenever the poison is ready, but I cannot stop saying the truth. If I am alive I will go on saying it till my last breath. And I cannot leave Athens just to save myself, because then I will feel always a weakling who became afraid of death, who escaped death, who could not take the responsibility of death also. I have lived according to my own thinking, feeling, being; I want to die that way also.
“And don’t feel guilty. Nobody is responsible for my death, I am responsible. I knew that it was going to happen, because to talk about truth in a society which lives on lies, deceptions, illusions, is to ask for death. Don’t blame these poor people who have decided for my death. If anybody is responsible, I am. And I want you all to know that I lived on my responsibility, and I am dying on my responsibility. “Living, I was an individual. Dying, I am an individual. Nobody decides for me; I am decisive about myself.”
This is dignity. This is integrity. This is what a human being should be. And if the whole earth is full of people like this man, we can make this earth so beautiful, so ecstatic, so abundant in everything…. But the individual is missing, so you have to take responsibility for yourself. But you will be able to take it only if you start loving whatever you are: this is the way existence wanted you to be. If existence wanted another Jesus Christ, it would have created one. To be Christian is ugly, to be Mohammedan is ugly, to be Hindu is ugly.
Be yourself, just yourself, simply yourself. And remember, you are taking a great risk when you declare that you are simply yourself. You don’t belong to any crowd, any herd. These are all herds: Hindus, Mohammedans, Christians, communists. You are declaring yourself an individual, knowing perfectly well that it is risky. The crowd may not forgive you at all. But it is so beautiful to take the risk, to move on the razor’s edge where every step is dangerous. The more dangerously you live, the more you live.
And it is possible to live, in a single moment, the whole eternity, if you are ready to live with totality, risking all and everything. Don’t save anything for the next moment. Then whatever happens will bring great blessing to you. Even if you become a beggar, your being will be far more dignified than that of an emperor. Man cannot fall into a worse state. But he has fallen; he has forgotten the laughter every child is born with; he has lost his way to health and wholeness.
The door opens right this very moment always here now, where life and death are continuously meeting. You have chosen death orientation because it was in the interests of those who are in power, and you have forgotten that life is passing by while you are being drowned in sadness. Once Confucius was asked by a disciple how to be happy, how to be blissful.
Confucius said, “You are asking a strange question; these things are natural. No rose asks how to be a rose.” As far as sadness and misery are concerned, you will have enough time in your grave; then you can be miserable to your heart’s content. But while you are alive, be totally alive. Out of this totality and intensity will arise happiness, and a happy man certainly learns to dance. I agree with the old Bali proverb.
We want the whole of humanity to be happy, and to be dancing, and to be singing. Then this whole planet becomes mature, evolves in consciousness. A sad man, a miserable man, cannot have a very sharp consciousness; his consciousness is dim, dull, heavy, dark. Only when you laugh heartily, suddenly like a flash all darkness disappears.
In your laughter you are your authentic self. In your sadness you have covered your original face with a fake identity that the society expects of you. Nobody wants you to be so happy that you start dancing in the street. Nobody wants you to have a hearty laughter; otherwise the neighbors will start knocking on your walls, “Stop. Misery is okay; laughter is a disturbance.” Miserable people cannot tolerate anybody who is not miserable.
The only crime of people like Socrates was that they were immensely happy people, and their happiness created immense envy in the great masses which are living in misery. The masses could not tolerate such happy people; they have to be destroyed because they provoke inside you a possibility of revolt, and you are afraid of that revolt. Once a man falls in love with rebellion, he is on the right path.
One of the best surprises about our new place is that it turns out that we live in the district for what is considered by many to be Chicago’s best public elementary school. They also have a preschool, and give preference to kids in the neighborhood (us!). Which is great news.
The bad news is that they didn’t have any openings for the current year, and we don’t know (and won’t know for a couple of months) about next year. It’s possible that Oliver won’t be going to preschool at all, and it is definite that I need to get in gear and get applications in at some other places if I want him to go next year, just in case this school doesn’t work out.
Going hand-in-hand with this, Oliver has begun refusing to take naps. This is incredibly frustrating for me, because naptime has always been me-time. Both kids are really demanding of me–they aren’t content to be in the same room with me, they want to be sitting on me, climbing on me, playing with me, etc. So from morning til night, I don’t get a break, either mental or physical. So, after spending a few days being frustrated with Oliver’s naplessness, I decided to be all Serenity-Prayerful about it, and accept the things that I cannot change.
Which means that while Hazel naps and Oliver doesn’t, I spend some time with him one-on-one doing preschool activities. And he loves it. I’m no teacher, and I think I might actually be quite terrible at what I’m doing, but he comes with a lot of raw potential (i.e. he’s kind of brilliant), which helps. I’ve been printing out alphabet and numeral handwriting sheets and really simple word searches, and we’ve been taking them a letter and a number at a time, tracing them and practicing writing them. He really enjoys it (we only spend 15-30 minutes every day, depending on how excited he is about it, and I try not to push him too hard on any of it). And during preschool time, he insists on calling me Teacher.
Oliver has had a good grasp of numbers for awhile, and even surprises me sometimes with his basic math skills. Last week, I was making lunch for him and Hazel, and had put five chicken fingers into the microwave to heat up. Oliver asked how many I was heating up, and I told him that I had made three for him and two for Hazel. And he said, “Oh, so you’re making five?” It blew my mind a little. In a good way.
Along with getting comfortable with writing the numbers and what the numbers mean, I was curious about whether he could actually recognize numbers when he saw them, and put it together with what they represent. So I decided to try making some matching games on his chalkboard, drawing goldfish crackers and having him match the number of crackers to the number. As you can see, he did a great job. Also, I am terrible and drawing.
I felt joy spread inside of me as two boys walked ahead, their arms around each other. Most days, they would argue, snarl at one another, boast of their accomplishments or fight over the silliest of things. But seeing them together now, that invisible bond among siblings was plain to see.
We crossed what to them seemed like the longest bridge. It took far longer to get from one side to the other, simply because everywhere they turned their eyes was a playground to frolick on, discover, and tickle their fertile minds.
Big brother has lately shunned photographs. If he agreed to having his picture taken, it was with some annoying pose. So it came as a complete surprise when he requested that I take pictures of him and younger brother. I knew his artist’s heart thrilled at the sight of columns and boxes and colors and textures.
Giant yellow hibiscus or small dainty flowers caught his eye as well. He remembered baby sister, who is always fascinated by them. Oh his mischievous heart was alive, carrying out some prank or another. But his eyes gleamed, and his laughter rang. It was a swell day…
In daylight or at dusk, the skybridge held them in awe. They can run back and forth, straight or zigzagging their way, exploring every nook and cranny possible.
Goofing around...
The few hours we spent at SM North Edsa were precious… and priceless. I can replay them in my mind, hear their chatter, giggles and laughter.
And as we walked towards the parking lot, my heart almost lodged at my throat as I had two sets of arms wrapped around me.
I had all the thanks I needed… What can I say? I go for cheap thrills.
The other day, I took my boys out for lunch. While we sat waiting for our food, I told them about a study I heard about on the news earlier that day. I told them the premise of the study, the findings and before I offered anything else, I asked, “What do you think about this?”
They quickly jumped in with their initial reactions, followed by their own way of making sense (or not being able to make sense of it) and then they asked me what I thought, so I told them.
This led us to a discussion where I offered my opinion that any study can be crafted in such a way that it can provide ‘proof’ of almost anything and we discussed how that can be done.
Then we got to the important part of the conversation, where we discussed that even if a ’specialist’, a ’scientist’, an ‘expert’, or even their (gasp) mother says/writes/publishes something, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is the truth.
We talked about how we all have that inner knowing and if something feels right or if it feels wrong to us…THAT is what we need to listen to the most. We talked about how things can be misleading or misinterpretted and the most important way of knowing is our own gut feeling. Sometimes that inner voice says, ‘this feels true to me’, sometimes it tells us something seems amiss…and often it says, “I think this is right (or wrong), but I need to find out more before I make my own conclusions.”
I told them that I believe their truth would always be found if they go within. No one, no study, no institution can ever tell us all the truth. It is something we all must find for ourselves.
I hope they will listen to that inner knowing, educate themselves when necessary or when interested and feel confident to go against the grain if they feel it is their path.
Of course, this is just all my own opinion…you’ll have to listen to your inner voice to know if it resonates with you or not.
We certainly have had our challenges with medication in trying to control my daughter, Leah’s ADHD diagnosis. When a child has Down Syndrome as well, it further complicates the issue. We have struggled with finding a medicine that had few side effects and was still effective as well as trying to figure out the effective dosing level. It has been a challenge. I thought things had stabilized, then right before the Christmas break, we had a conversation with Leah’s teacher who conveyed concern about her pulling her hair out uncontrollably. Now, we have noticed this behavior at home and were starting to get concerned and were exploring some potential causes and solutions. Once we discussed it with her teacher and realized how severe the problem was at school, we accelerated our research. It turns out she had been pulling out large clumps of hair lately and when her teacher pushed in her chair that day, she noticed a large amount of hair covering the seat of the chair. She tried to stop the behavior using several clever methods, but the pulling was uncontrollable.
Well, we first called her behavioral therapist who prescribed the meds as well as the school district nurse to discuss. Fortunately, the nurse was the first to call back. Once we got her input from observing Leah, we concluded that this might be a nervous tick not related to the drugs. We got the return call from her behavioral therapist and discussed with her. To make a long story short, we decided to take her off the drug while she was off for Christmas vacation.
While we did this, I also started researching some other potential causes of ADHD behavior and found some interesting material on certain foods creating ADHD symptoms. I decided to try to modify her diet a little at a time to see what would happen and to prevent her from being resistent to the change. I decided to do this at the risk of modifying too many variables and not being able to really determine a source to the problem. The result has been very positive. She has greatly reduced her hair pulling and her ADHD symptoms have also been reduced while at home. She has been back to school for a week now and her teacher has confirmed that her ADHD symptoms and impulsivity issues are reduced as well. Her hair pulling at school has been reduced, though not eliminated. I think this does show little correlation between the drugs and the hair pulling. This also shows that she may be outgrowing the need for the meds or her dietary changes are having a positive impact on her behavior. We have an appointment scheduled with her behavioral therapist next week and will be discussing these findings. Until then, I plan on continuing the dietary plan we are on.
For a quick summary of the dietary changes I made, I greatly reduced the amount of bread she eats. I also greatly reduced the amount of milk she drinks. She is happy with the milk reduction as long as she can drink a very small amount of milk in the morning and still have her milk carton at lunch at school. She is a big fan of bread, so to still give her some fiber and some of her bread, I switched her to Ezekiel bread which is made with non-gluten sources. It is actually quite delicious and still has the look and consistency of her normal bread. We also have increased her fruit and vegetable intake and she provided a lot less resistance to this change than I thought. She is very willing to eat more fruit and vegetables as long as she has some input as to which fruits and vegetables she eats. So we give her options that we are happy with and she gets to choose from those. Another benefit of these dietary changes has been a very substantial reduction in her constipation. She regularly has a BM every other day now, which is much more frequently than before the dietary changes.
I know we made several changes at once and invalidated any scientific controls to our theories, but we are getting a result that we are happy with and she is currently without any ADHD meds.
Can you teach your preschooler math on the internet? You bet. First of all there are plenty of sites that offer math worksheets and flash cards. Google math and worksheet. But there are also fun math games that are both entertaining and educational. KnowledgeAdventure, offers Math Lines; the objective is to find pairs that add up to 10. Fun School offers a game where the objective is to find the right answer to an addition problem. ToddlerSchool offers a simple counting game which is suitable for toddlers. The objective is to count balls and find the correlating number.
Enough time has passed to where I feel as though I can tell this little story without feeling like I’ll be judged too badly for it. And, to be completely honest, I think it’s kind of funny.
So there I was last night, head over toilet, finger down the throat, pizza coming out (I hope that’s not too graphic) and my son was standing beside me watching. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I really didn’t think he would understand what was going on–just that mom was sick, espeically since he throws up on me all the time. But after a few minutes of watching , he leaned over the bathroom rug and started coughing and gagging, letting drool fall out of his mouth and then laughing. I looked over at him and laughed. And then he did it again. And then I laughed. And then he took a bite of the pizza that was in his hands, coughed, gagged and spit it on the floor. And then it wasn’t funny any more. So I stopped; most importantly, he stopped.
What I was doing was not a joke. In that moment I remembered that children learn through imitation. Over the past year it became really important to me that I provide a healthy examply of eating and exercising for my children. (I guess because I was so screwed up, I didn’t want to visit that upon my own offspring.) So those twinges of guilt and shame–they have strengthened my resolve. My resolve to make healthy choices, to cherish and appreciate my body, and to teach my children to do the same.
by Anne Edgerton
ChildFund Disaster Management Team Leader
Anne with children.
Guatemala is experiencing the beginning of a nutritional emergency caused by drought in the country’s eastern region, known as the coredor seco — the dry corridor.
The lack of rainfall caused some Guatemalans to lose their entire harvest for 2009. The loss will have a year-long impact on these agricultural communities, as each family normally stores its harvest until the next rainy season. They depend on their crops to provide food for all family members.
This crisis is predicted to increase in gravity this month. In the coming months, affected families will not only lack their own food stores, the poorest community members will be unable to purchase food, as prices spike during a drought.
These boxes of nutritional supplement provided by ChildFund are regionally produced and culturally acceptable for Guatemalan children.
In Guatemala, the agricultural sector accounts for one-fourth of national GDP. The drought has already generated a high local unemployment rate, eliminating subsistence agriculture as a form of employment.
A Guatemalan youth surveys the dry countryside.
Given all of these deteriorating conditions, malnutrition is already present in children under age five in some communities. In response, ChildFund Guatemala is redirecting funds in affected communities to address this crisis. We will be providing nutritional supplementary food to the most vulnerable children in ChildFund communities. In addition, we will be working with parents on the use of kitchen gardens and orchards and providing education on nutritional health. By introducing alternative resources and skills, we aim to help children and families better cope with this crisis.
In the eastern areas where ChildFund works, there are not other international partners. ChildFund will use current community-based monitoring systems and will increase coordination with Guatemala’s Ministry of Health as a means of strengthening community management of malnutrition.
To donate to the ChildAlert emergency fund, click here.
It seems lately when it comes to sitting down and writing I have been nothing but distracted. Not by the kids or work or anything, it just seems like every time I sit down to write something, anything, I just don’t feel like it. It’s an odd feeling for me. I find I do my best writing when there is turmoil, or something on my mind or if something is bothering me. Let’s face it, in my life or any ones for that matter, there is always something going on we could write about. I usually always have something on my mind.
But lately, it seems like I don’t. I mean, I have plenty on my mind, but lately, just don’t want to write. It scares me a little, am I on the path away from writing, the one thing that brings me such solace and replacing it with a real life? Ge’ez I hope not. It’s like that feeling when you start to realize that a really close personal relationship is going to end, and its the last thing you want to happen.
I hope I have just been pre-occupied. I have a new home and my friend, Kirsten, her and her husband have been so gracious to help me out around the house. So far, he has installed my closet shelves and bars, and is currently installing some overhead lighting for me. They have kids close to my youngest age, all boys, who get along great, and now I am starting to work out with Kirsten at the local gym and have met yet another friend through her. I am hosting a book club, starting hopefully next week in my new small town local coffee shop, and really becoming even more settled than I ever thought possible in my already simple little life.
Kirsten’s husband teases me and says he needs to find me a boyfriend to do my long list of handy work, as he is starting to spend quite a bit of time tending to little fix it jobs here. But since the last blind date they set me up on was a complete disaster, I just roll my eyes and tell him the truth.
Et Voila! 2010. Fully exposed and waiting for each and everyone one of us to enter gracefully with a whole new perspective and meaning. Well, that’s the way I see it anyway…
As I get older…eh hum, I mean….more mature and wise as the years progress… I do find that I AM learning things. Sometimes those things take several ”face plants” to realize, but all in all, I have learned that my “inner voice” is something I do need to listen to more often. I did try to “take the road less travelled” as I often do, fully knowing that ‘that little voice inside my head’ just knew it wouldn’t work, and that’s Okay. I am not always right. It happens and I’m dealing with it. New experiences, although not always practical in a sence, are indeed required to flourish and advance. The “little voice” will help you on your way–seriously!
I believe that this year will be a great year. I have plans. Exciting, fun, & maybe-even-a-little-scarry big plans! I turn 30— you hear that THIR-TY!!! What the heck?! I’m ready for it- I think, ready for some change. Some good change!I’ve had my 2 years of crazyness, had a blast, and now look forward to finding TRUE balance. Pacing myself, not taking on too much or dipping in to too many ventures, this is the frame of mind I’m in right now. Looking ahead and gracefully focussing on the things that are truely important. Saying ‘no’ maybe a thing I have to work on this year. I am a people pleaser, I try to do it all…and let’s face it, that’s just not realistic, nor is it practical. Right?!
I have looked at my upcoming year, it is full~ish, but do-able. I am not stretching myself. I have 7 Weddings booked. June, July, August are all booked. I am only taking 2 weddings a month this year, instead of a Wedding every weekend. April & May have a couple weekends each available. And I am not booking for Fall until February. Family, Pregnancy, Children, & Birth shoots all still some room & open for bookings. I have a “please call me 1st” list for September on. …Oh ya, and did I mention Dec 20th- I officially started booking for 2011–WOW how exciting…Congrats Amanda!
So what is my 2010 New Years Resolution??? It is simple but highly versitile & effective– it can be put into play with everything I do. So what is it…? Well, here it is: MAKE HEALTHIER CHOICES. Now, you’re probably thinking–Wow, that’s original, but it is. This is not your typical “Salad vs. Fries” type of healthy choice, but an overall application. With every decision I am faced with this year, my answer will be determined by what is the healthier choice. Mental health, Physical health, Family Unit Health {ya I made that up, but it’s a good one in my books}, it is all important for a healthy lifestyle. And of course I will be choosing Salad over Fries!
I want balance. I want a healthy body & mind. I want a fruitful & healthy functioning family unit. I want to be happy. I want to be in control of my career & for sure… I WANT TO HAVE FUN!
Do-able. Totally do-a-ble, with grace and dignity. I feel positive {and a little like Oprah at the moment} for the year to come. I am learning, and excited for what the future holds. I am positive about implementing this resolution, and not just talking about it! …And seriously, if you do it right, it’s not asking for too much!!
I took the holidays off– like for real, OFF. It was nice to take a break from work mode and get my 2010 priorities in order. Over the next week I will be easing back into the swing of things, pacing myself, and enjoying it of course! lol Should anyone require my services please contact me for availability & bookings.
I look forward working with you this year, Thank You to all my faithful blog stalkers– I love hearing from you, please feel free to continue to comment!
All the Best~ melissa xo
PS. I will be posting my Family shoot from the end of November later today. I’ll add it to this post once we return from tobogganing {healthier choice, instead of siting snuggling with my lap top right now–haha} It was CRAZY beautiful that afternoon of the day we did my fam pics. No snow & plenty of sun!! I actually had a bit of time over the holidays to sit and play with my photos that have been waiting on the side lines all of 2009–weird! … Check back later today for the pic update ~m
It is difficult to protect your child all day against the dangers of the world, and they will not be far away from risks, but online predators should not exist a risk that they become closer. You have to tell them about the dangers of online predators and how they can use the Internet to get acquainted with others, but not put them in danger. Before you leave your child in the same line, you must tell them how to avoid such hazards, and exactly why they are subject to predators. It is difficult tobelieve that a predator could be in your home, however, is something you can avoid talking and to participate in your child's life.
First, young children who do not really belong in the chatroom. Teenagers should only use chat rooms are monitored closely. You will also monitor your children use chat rooms. Regularly check on them when they go online to see what they look at who they are, or speak. Try to see what the talks are ongoing. I dojust saying, educate your family about the dangers of spyware, viruses and the like.
All they have created online accounts must have your approval. None or buts. "E-mail Accounts – You must have access to, or forget. Use only the pen name that is not true, they should never give their address online if it is a must certainly worth seeing, you know they are safe. So when you try to protect your child, make them aware of what can happen. Tell them that some peoplehave disappeared, never to return to their families. During chats with strangers on the Internet. Let him know that not everyone on the Internet is there for the same purpose they are. Tell them that there are many people online that will harm them and then lay down rules for how your child can use the network and when.
For so long, we have attempted continueously to provide with one solid answer. Most would blurt out personal traditional explaination that was spoon fed to them as a child at the dinner table or at church. Instead of teaching the children to educate themselves by researching curious questions about our creation, they get the conservative metaphore of adam and eve as the story of the beginning of time. Education is considered important these days not because of the improved quality of life that it provides for a person, but because that is the only way to get a job. Education is the way that we as people go about answering questions. We take tabs of our questions , and reasearch. Then we analyze them to form conclusions about our findings that will help get closer to the answer. All by being observant and using common sense. There are many aspects and fields of life that have been historically studied, analyzed, even mastered. when answering the questions about the purpose of our existence, you have to take into consideration every aspect of our existence in the world we live in from a physical, and chemical stand point. What are we made of in contrast to what everything else around us is made of? Atoms on a basic level. However we are equiped with complex multiple level of cellular systems that make up all of the tissue that makes up a human being. All the way down to our nerves that give us the ability to feel emotions, and move our bodies. Modern studies in medical, astrological, biological, mathematical, geographical etc… provides with ample information about what we as humans have been able to uncover about our selves and existence so far on earth. This is Education people! Just Learn as much as you can about what you want to learn about and use what you learn to better your experience here. We are all lucky to have this experience from the human eye.
This year my two children have reached the wizened ages of 4 and 6. My son aged four is just entering prime Santa logic territory while my daughter, yes she’s the six-year-old for all of you following along, has a few years of accumulated Santa wisdom to pass on to her brother.
Early in the season they started slow. We ran into Santa as he was just setting up at the mall. He didn’t look the part a little too thin and, after all, it’s always tough to buy the Santa illusion when he’s stringing lights with a half-eaten meal of Nathan’s hot dogs sitting on the table next to him. As we trundled past him my daughter announced. ” Not a real Santa.”
“Of course. ” Confirmed my son. “Oh yeah?” I prodded.
“Dad. He’s one of the Santa’s that works for the real Santa. One of the kinda Santas” explained Carolyn patiently.
Ian stopped spread his hands to illustrate his point ” No magic. Obviously.”
I had the feeling that they had been discussing Santa ID attributes at length behind the scenes.
“We’ll see him next week.” instructed Ian, ” He sees the real Santa more the closer it gets to Christmas.”
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Two weeks to go and the Santa analysis has started to heat up. During dinner Ian gets extremely animated explaining Santa Metaphysics.
“Dad, you don’t understand magic. And what you don’t know is that there are five real Santas, one for each Continent!” Now I know for a fact that Ian has a great deal of trouble with the concept of town, state, country, continent but he had obviously keyed into one particular term from my dreadfully boring lecture as I explained the globe in our living room.
After he had explained that there was a team involved he moved on to the core issue of toy output divided by world demand.
“Each kid’s toy list gets done in order. It’s just like when Mr. Ben lines us up to get juice boxes. The first kid on the line gets juice first and you have to wait ’til it’s your turn. But every one gets juice. That’s the way Santa works. “
“So you told Santa you want a juice box for Christmas.”
His eyes blaze for a moment and he levels a finger at me.
“Dad! There is no joking about Santa. This is serious stuff ya know!”
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Five days out and Santa becomes the topic of every third conversation. They are Santa obsessed. They recount past Santa events like the time they heard sleigh bells or in the most Santa moment so far the sleigh tracks in the snow last Christmas.
We sign on to the web and each child writes a letter to Santa. Ian waits patiently as I type in his list. Dump truck, nintendo d/s, zhu zhu pet, rubber snake….Whew they are all safely bought, wrapped and hidden. I get to the end of the letter and he looks at me sheepishly.
“Can I type some letters?” he asks.
“Sure thing.”
“Don’t look!” he orders. I spend half my day not looking. I’m an expert at doing almost any household chore while ‘not looking’. He fishes around in the pocket of his pj’s and pulls out a slip of paper with his sister’s writing on it. He types slowly, finding each letter by carefully scanning the keyboard line by line as his tongue involuntarily switches from sticking out of first the left and then the right side of his mouth.
“I LOVE YOU SSANTA”
He’s proud, oh so proud.
“You can look now Dad. Did I do the letters right?”
“Perfect.”
God, I love the web. I help him hit send and presto Santa’s reply appears. It ends with ” I love you too Ian.”
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Three days to go and they stand transfixed in the produce aisle staring at the carrot selections. Carolyn carefully reads the sign on the bags of baby carrots whispers in Ian’s ear and a moment later he is tugging on my sleeve. I look down at a little hand with three fingers held up.
“Dad, can I have this many dollars to buy Rudolph a treat?”
“We’ve got carrots at home.”
“Dad!” he stamps his foot. “Santa might be watching. He’ll know that we didn’t buy them for Rudolph.” There is not a wallet on earth that can withstand this childish logic.
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And now, finally, it’s Christmas Eve. They return from their mother’s “family gathering” a total wreck. It seems their crazy uncle gave them a Wii gaming system only to angrily take it away from them halfway through the evening. Their unstable mother stole it back in some kind of psych unit solution to Christmas Eve family dynamics.
“We had the worst Christmas any kid has ever had ever!!!” announces my daughter, sobbing as she enters the house.
My heart sinks. My ex and her family are a psycho reality tv show waiting to debut.
“That can’t be true. ” I tell them. “Christmas hasn’t even come yet. Santa is in Japan I just saw it on the computer.”
They calm down a little and I log into NORAD’s track Santa site. Once again, thank god for the web.
“Oops, he’s made it all the way to the Falkland Island’s” I explain. They calm down and we go through the American ritual of placing out cookies, milk, carrots and, oddly Spinach. “All reindeers eat Spinach” explains Ian.
As he drifts off to sleep Ian decides to fill in some of the holes in my Santa knowledge.
“He can walk through walls, ya know. He’s an elf and he’s magic and sometimes only kids can see him.” he whispers. You’re right about all that Ian he is magic and he does walk through walls.
My daughter, on the other hand, is wired. She’s still upset and going to sleep, for her, is always the end of a lengthy conversation.
“Santa is having lots of problems with the elves being silly this year.”
“Oh really?!”
“Yeah…they kept jumping in the wrapping paper machine. He has to keep unwrapping them.” Once again, some clever pro Santa webmaster added that story to the letter she received in reply to her heartfelt plea.
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When Santa arrived he came in the usual red and white outfit, but he was young and had been on a diet! And he had a false red nose! Not what I expected – but exactly what the children expected, I’m sure. He was really happy giving the children their presents – most of which were supplied by the school, from donations given by friends. Most of the presents were musical instruments – keyboards, guitars, etc. Anything that makes a noise!
Sai Baba looking pensive!
I felt joy spread inside of me as two boys walked ahead, their arms around each other. Most days, they would argue, snarl at one another, boast of their accomplishments or fight over the silliest of things. But seeing them together now, that invisible bond among siblings was plain to see.
This Day Is A Gift
