One child policy

We must inform all diners at the New World Order Cafe that all families may order only one children’s meal. No exceptions.

A child is defined under Section 92, Subsection (a), paragraph iii and clause 4 of the 3rd Final Draft of the 22nd Resolution of the 7th Paper from the 4th International NWO Cafe Summit as being no more than 12 years, 9 months and 26 days of age unless the current date is a Friday or the 3rd Sunday of an even-numbered month. This has been simplified since the 3rd Summit with the most laudable thanks of our world leaders.

We shall kindly ask any families who have more than one child to put their children in a holding room until the rest of the family has finished eating or order a meal from the regular menu. We wish only to serve you better. We considered forcing your additional children to wait outside in the freezing cold or stifling heat – but that was rejected by a narrow margin of 3-2.

This follows from the one child policy performed in the noodle restaurant down the street about 30 years ago. They brutally used gunfire on families who would dare order more one children’s meal. We thought about applying this measure on families today but we figure that it would increase our costs by having to order so many bullets.

With our new and improved policies that abide by the regulations set forth in the Department of Restaurant Safety, Carpentry and Information Technology, we hope that you have a better citizenship experience in the New World.

Think of the children.

[Via http://nwocafe.wordpress.com]