DivorceCare & DivorceCare 4 Kids (Ages 5-12)
For those dealing with the pain of separation and divorce
Wednesdays 7:00 – 8:30 PM
March 3rd – June 2nd, 2010
Facilitators: Wilma Johnson & April Bennett
Location: New Life Community Church , 9281 Goreway Drive , Brampton
Cost: Free
To Register: Call 905-790-1084
Jamie Robert s, Assistant Pastor
New Life Community Church
9281 Goreway Drive
Brampton, ON L6P 0N5
905-790-1084 ext. 28 (Office)
905-790-0887 (Fax)
Your love and approval is the most important thing to your child. Because of this need for your love, your child will want to respond and meet your expectations. It is important that limit setting is a carefully thought-out procedure, one that is designed to convey understanding, acceptance and responsibility to your child.
Before children can resist their first impulses, they must have an awareness of their behavior, a feeling of responsibility, and the experience of self-control. Dr. Garry Landreth, founder of the Center for Play Therapy, developed the A • C • T method to setting limits that provides children with an opportunity to learn self-control, the knowledge that they have choices, what making choices feels like, and how responsibility feels. According to Dr. Landreth, “when limits should be set but they are not, children are deprived of the opportunity to learn something important about themselves. †”
Effective Discipline with A•C•T Limit Setting
A = Acknowledge the Feeling
C = Communicate the Limit
T = Target the Choice
“Looks like you [feel, want, wish],
but [first object] is not for [action]-ing.
[Second object] is. You can. . .”
Examples of a Limit Setting Sequence
“Looks like you want to draw,
but the wall is not for drawing.”
[point]“You can draw on the paper or
[point] you can draw on the chalk board.”
____________
“I can see you feel frustrated,
but the doll clothes are not for tearing.”
[point] “You can tear the shoe box or
[point] you can tear egg carton.”
___________
“Jim, I know you feel like hitting me,
but I’m not for hitting!”
[point] “You can hit the stuffed bear, or
[point] you can hit the pillow.”
Rational for Limit Setting
As a result of setting limits, children become responsible for themselves and their own behavior.
Responsibility accompanies decision-making. Before children can resist their first impulses, they must have an awareness of their behavior, a feeling of responsibility and the experience of
Here are some real time examples of How to Effectively Set Limits:
FIRST
Acknowledge the child’s feelings to diffuse the child’s emotions.
“Looks like. . .”
“I know you’d really like to. . .”
“I can tell you’re feeling. . .”
When the child’s message is clearly understood the child no longer needs to act out.
SECOND:
Communicate the Limit Clearly
THIRD:
Target Appropriate Choices
Understanding the child’s intention helps in selecting alternatives.
“You can. . .”
“You can choose to. . . if you’d like.”
“You can pretend. . .” etc.
Point using eyes, hands or your entire arm to help interrupt the child’s focus on the object.
†Source: Landreth (2002). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship. Burnner-Routledge, NY:NY.
A printable brochure of Effective Limit Setting is available for you to save and read at your convenience. Just click on this link and print it out or save it to your desktop http://www.kaytrotter.com/resources.htm
There is no book that falls down from the sky that gives you all the answers to the questions you will have in life. You have to find them on your own. The contexts will vary and cannot be summarily covered in simple platitudes and phrases that can be molded to fit any and every circumstance.
When you find that your explanations aren’t understood by the ones to whom you are offering them, you dig into yourself and find other words, you make stories or render analogies that the other person will perceive as pertaining to them; you keep looking until you find those other words.
When your heart is breaking, you have to tell the ones who broke it that they need to stop doing whatever it is that broke your heart. You need to trust and love them enough, sometimes, to make yourself that vulnerable.
If it seems that only one side is heard in a contest, in an argument, in a positioning of hearts and souls, you keep looking for ways to make the other side heard…but you look for the signposts that tell you that they and you have passed those same and other markers…and sometimes you keep your mouth closed and listen with the ears of your soul and hear things that your brain doesn’t want to hear…and sometimes you learn, you understand that the other side has already heard and understands the side you defend and knows in their deepest hearts that what they say is true…and sometimes it hurts.
When your loved ones don’t understand you, they still love you, they still cherish the air that you breath and their hearts still beat with yours…they just don’t understand…and you love them, too, anyway…and you find the words….If it’s you who is speaking, make sure your family knows it’s you, and not someone else. If they think it is someone else, a someone else who may be pulling your strings and making you dance or sing or writhe in pain, find the words to help them understand that it is your heart speaking…only yours….
If the day comes and you find that your family isn’t fond of the person you’ve chosen (or who has chosen you) to be your life partner, sometimes that has to be ok. Your aching heart can love both of them, your family and your partner. They don’t have to love each other…they didn’t choose each other, you did. And you don’t have to choose only one or the other…you can love both, separately. Sometimes that’s just the way it is…sometimes.
Understanding will come to your family that you do actually love your spouse and that your spouse makes you happy…if it is visible in your life…if the part of your soul that you reveal to them contains that joy, if they are able to see that unmistakable joy outwardly in your life. If they hear you say those words, but only see you living your life in a contrary manner, or under a burden that isn’t yours, and one not joyfully borne, they aren’t going to buy it…they will not believe your words and they will not share in the understanding of your love.
Family is, they will, they are going to talk to each other about some things before they talk to you or the other ones involved in whatever the situation. They find out what each other thinks…they find out what they themselves think…before talking with you. It’s like writing in your journal; you give voice to your thoughts in a safe place before delivering them to the one who is the intended receiver.
Sometimes you’re supposed to be uncomfortable. Sometimes the un-ease is what makes us reflect more deeply on what is being said to us…in love. Not to oversimplify, but growing-pains hurt…because we’re growing…sometimes it sucks, but you endure and learn and grow and continue loving…because you love.
When nobody wants to talk and it is important that you do, then talk. But talk with new words that haven’t been dragged around the block several times and now only have ragged holes in themselves and are empty of meaning.
One tells their spouse that it’s “ok” by saying and meaning that it’s “ok.” Sometimes “ok” is all there’s going to be…and sometimes “ok” is the seed for a better future….
When someone says they can’t be more cordial to your spouse, I believe they really can be…maybe not today or tomorrow, but with the passing of time, they will be able to…because they, too, will endure and learn and grow…and continue loving…you.
You already know that life isn’t fair…it isn’t fair in opportunity, in love, in war, in simple living…in complicated living. Sometimes what makes the difference is compromise, sometimes it’s concession…sometimes it’s in changing one’s perspective, cherishing what one has and not what one hasn’t. Sometimes it’s in understanding that your strength complements the other’s weakness and with the two of you, even in that unfair situation, whatever it might be, it is good…but don’t expect life to be fair, don’t even ask it to be.
When family speaks out hurtfully, out of line, out of turn, uninformed, inform them. They aren’t speaking out that way “to” hurt you, but because they are hurt, too. Even when your side is so crystal clear to you, so goddamnably clear, the other side carries hurt and love and emotion inside of themselves, too, and sometimes that is what’s speaking. Understand them, too…even if you don’t like what they’re saying, understand them.
When one family compares itself to another, that’s normal; it simply is. They want to identify things in themselves that make them distinct, that make them family, that make them Them; and that is done, sometimes, at the cost of naming what is wrong or different in the other, identifying in the Other what is not Them. It makes them feel more secure in their Them-ness, and that’s not good or bad, it just is.
When it’s important, when it’s important, to respond to the one family about identifying the other family’s Otherness, then respond. Tell them what disturbs you about that identifying process. It might not change anything, but don’t sit and say nothing…silence equals complicity.
Speculation and rumor are going to fuel concern…the concern might turn into action, and something good might come of it. Something good will certainly not come of it if there is no action. And loss doesn’t have to happen. It seems, in this context anyway, that loss becomes the result of choice…someone chooses to turn-away, someone chooses to abandon, someone chooses loss.
In a place where boundaries have never existed, their sudden appearance gives the indication that they are full walls. In a place where boundaries existed, but were often stepped-over with ease and back again, the sudden and marked appearance and enforcement of boundaries gives the impression of fortified walls. When the observers have known in the context of their lives, all of them, that boundaries are honored when they become sensitive, but otherwise danced around, to have them suddenly guarded with force makes the observers wonder at what changed…for they know that they haven’t.
If your family ever feels or says they feel that you throw your relationships away, make it clear that you don’t, or didn’t. How could they feel that way if they didn’t get a clue from you that you did? Look at it through their eyes…just like you ask them to do…and really look. How could they, loving you, come to such an erroneous conclusion if that was not the message that you sent? How could they, loving you, adoring you…really?
In whatever situation, you show that you tried by doing…and doing…and doing…not just trying…and doing again.
If you feel that your family has given up on you, let them know that that’s the message you are picking-up from what they’re putting out there…call them on it…love yourself enough to do it…love them enough to do it…even if it hurts or confuses. Chances are…they haven’t. Chances are…you are so deeply mired in your own situation that you can’t see what they’re doing, really…so call them on it.
And if you’re ever called to the task, you show your family that you really care…by really caring; yes, do actually say the words…because the words are important, but make sure your action, your attention, your attending…speaks louder than your words…consistently.
Those are just some of the things that my father never told me….
He also never told me to change the oil in my car’s engine every three to five thousand miles. My father-in-law told me that…after I had driven about 17,000 miles without an oil-change…in the first car that I owned that I didn’t have to add a quart of oil to the engine every week…but that’s for another posting.
Little things mean so much. Today I woke to find an e-mail from Roz Morris. She is an awesome author with a fantastic blog -Nail Your Novel. She said there was a surprise for me over at her blog and instantly my day became cheerier. Who doesn’t love surprises?
She was given the Sugar Doll Blogger award which required her to list ten random facts about herself. The facts were fun and certainly interesting. She passed on the Sugar Doll Blogger award as well as the Sunshine award to me and eleven others. Now, it is my turn to list ten facts. I am looking to add new blogs to my list. Please feel free to comment and leave info so I can visit your blog. Anyone who comments receives a blog award.
Okay, so I will attempt to make myself sound interesting.
1. Eventually I will become a very famous author but until then I need a day job. I just got hired to be a…
*Lab technician
*Veterinarian’s Assistant
*Craps Dealer in a casino
*Circus Clown
One of these is correct. Which one do you think?
2. I have four children. My first child was named after a song. My second child was named after a book. I simply just loved the name for my third child. 4. My fourth child was born three weeks after my father died so she was named after him.
3. Public Speaking does not intimidate me. With having said that, I would let a stranger read my ms before someone close to me. (I get embarrassed when people I know read what I write)
4. I keep many journals but only four have been named. The names of my journals are Journey, Hope, Destiny and Karma.
5. I love bracelets and rings. The funkier the better.
6. I believe that I was born to be a writer. It is my calling.
7. Many of my dreams have come true in one way or another which is why I must keep a dream journal.
8. I collect angels. Every angel I have has been given to me and therefore represents the person who gave me it. If you would like to send me an angel feel free to do so. Just kidding, but really if you want to…
9. I don’t believe in coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.
10. I have a warped sense of humor. If you get my humor we will become fast friends. If you don’t get my humor chances are I will shy away from you.
An airplane trip is very exciting for kids, especially if they don’t often get to fly. If it’s been a while since you’ve traveled with your children, these tips should help you have a smooth flight.
If you are bringing a stroller along, you’ll have to remove the child and fold it up (the stroller, not the child!) to go through x-ray. Everyone’s shoes will need to come off as well. If you are trying to manage several kids at once, enlist the help of the oldest and let them know in advance what is expected of them. Airport employees are usually happy to help if it gets too much to handle, and often the people in line with you will offer to help.
If you have a baby on formula, take a dry powder form if possible, and add water later. You can buy some water after you go through security.
If you have a very small child that can sit on your lap you won’t need to buy an extra seat. However, it might be worth the extra money just to have your hands free. If it’s a long flight, holding a small child on your lap will get fatiguing.
If your kids are bringing carry-ons with games and such to occupy them, let them know that you expect them to be responsible and keep up with their stuff. It’s real easy to set it down in the waiting area and forget it, or leave it on the plane when disembarking.
If you have an infant, be sure to bring a change of clothes, diapers (bring plenty!), wipes, favorite toys, and maybe a book or two to read to them or, if they are old enough, for them to look through.
For the problem of ear popping, give the kids a piece of gum to chew to help relieve the pressure. Some children are not bothered by it at all.
If you plan to use a car seat on the plane, make sure yours is airline approved (check for a label on the seat).
Be sure to check in early at the airport. It is said that there is never a “too early” at the airport, only a “too late.”
Consider a bribe. Dubious but yes it works! Buy each child a new toy and let them know they can’t play with it until they are on board the plane. This will occupy them for quite some time!
Let your kids know that while flying they must remain seated with their seatbelt on at all times unless they need to use the restroom. If they already expect this rule, it won’t be so hard to enforce once you are on the plane.
Keep your sense of humor! Relax and enjoy the flight and the excitement of your kids.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s … Milo William Langdon!
Liv Tyler and her 5-year-old son were spotted making their way to preschool in New York City on Wednesday morning.
It’s not always so easy to get her little boy out the door, Liv notes.
“I just say, ‘We’re going to school, that’s what you do. You have to go to school,’” the actress explains. “And I told him to enjoy it now because it’s fun now. Soon he’ll have homework and it’s not so fun.”
Milo is the only child for Liv, 32, and ex-husband Royston Langdon.
(Miss Farah: She’s very sweet and down to earth, but I’m not sure I liked the idea where she said school won’t be fun anymore, she just encouraged him to hate it even more when he’s in the primary years…)
Just to note, as I swore I’d give my carpal-tunnely arm a break tonight…
Lia read seven books today. SEVEN! Usually we la-la through one and get on to the next thing ASAP. But something in these new books tickled her (maybe because they are new) and off she went. She even began putting HER finger under each word to read it.
I’m so proud.
And Levi walked from his crib to the bed today, just let go and away he went, five little steps.
And since I’m talking about my genius children, Amelie has been reaping the benefits of Lia’s piano lessons. Every day we play Go Fish or Memory with music flash cards and it’s just sooo cute to hear her say, “Mommy, do you have a bass clef?” Dotted half note is equally cute.
A column in the New York Times talked about how one in seven individuals have a learning disability of some sort. What I found the most disconcerting is that parents who look at this column might look harder for those disabilities with their children, and might be misdiagnosed when it truly might have been just a hard assignment.
Dr. Solomon assessing a child. Photo attributed to Daniel Rosenbaum
A learning assessment for a child can reach up to 5,000 dollars, but the article states that the child’s school, private or not, are required to pay. When schools might want to hand out that sort of money, especially if they have lots of parents coming to them, it’s understandable that they might not move things swiftly along with getting a child tested. The Lesley Alderman, the author of the column, presents two options in this matter of how a parent should go about this.
1) Set up a meeting with a school principal or teacher about the problem.
2) If they are unresponsive, go to the school’s director to make a written complaint to get things going.
But getting an evaluator for a child seems to be tricky. Dr. Solomon for example is one of these doctors, but her evaluation of a child seems like she has alterior motives:
“I recently was testing a very bright 5-year-old who could only pay attention for 10 minutes at a time,” Laura Solomon, a special-education consultant, recently told me. “So we did 10 minutes of testing and five minutes of play. It took us three mornings to finish the tests.”
Aren’t all 5-year-olds spastic and don’t like to pay attention? I feel that bringing attention to things like attention spans for a 5-year-old is almost irrelevant. I’m not a doctor and I don’t have first hand experience with this child, but it seems like this doctor is trying to make something out of nothing. And with concerned parents about their child’s mental health, well I think the side effects of being put on a medication too early might be more detrimental to a child than anything.
I think articles like this that say one in seven of us have a disability and short attention spans for 5-year-olds might mean something other than just being a kid, in short, freak people out. I know that when I hear statistics like this I think to myself, “Could I have a disability?” I would like to think that people wouldn’t misjudge these sorts of things, but coming from a hometown when misdiagnosis were made almost daily, I feel that this could be a threat to children.
This article also didn’t have any links for the author or Dr. Solomon, but only two links [Web site and Wright'slaw.com] to sites where parents can find out their state’s laws on this issue.
Preparing to understand the Binomial Equation (pic:1worldmontessori.com)
Lunch box: $30
Shoes and clothes for school: $1,000
Three years of Montessori tuition: $25,000*
Allowing your child to discover who she is and what she’s capable of: PRICELESS
There are expenses and there are investments. For the things that really matter, there’s Montessori.
Montessori: The preferred method of education for parents who want to prepare their children for life.
*If parents understood the value of Montessori, and pushed their state governments to incorporate the method into the public education system, it could be free for everyone. PARENTS, THE FUTURE OF YOUR CHILDREN’S EDUCATION IS IN YOUR HANDS!!! You can sit there and complain, or you can do something about it…
The Duchess of Angouleme wrote in her Recit: “At the end of October, at one o’clock in the morning, I was asleep when someone knocked on my door; I rose hastily and I opened all trembling with fear, I saw two men with Laurent; they looked at me and left without saying anything.”
These lines are not very significant, and nothing suggests that the evasion occurred that night. That there was an evasion would not appear to be in question. However, it is not possible to fix the exact date with certainty.
According to Madame Simon, it was when she and her husband left the Temple that it occurred. She claimed to have taken advantage of the move, to hide the Dauphin in a cart of clothing. But what happened to him afterwards?
The only thing certain is that, for the rest of her life, after the death of her husband, Widow Simon told the same story, in spite of pressure to change it, and of it being in her own interest to do so. She continually stated that the Dauphin had been taken from the Temple.
It has been said that her mental faculties had declined at the end of her life. A medical certificate, five declarations from different people, the clear, not at all incoherent answers she gave to the questions put to her, and to the interrogations to which she was submitted, prove that her mind was functioning perfectly well.
In spite of threats from the police, Widow Simon continued to tell anyone who would listen, that the Dauphin did not die at the Temple. She said this right in the middle of the reign of Louis XVIII, at a time when such lack of control over her tongue could have caused her serious trouble.
At the moment when these revelations were made public, Widow Simon was at the Hospice des Incurables. She had entered it on 12 April 1796. She was in the deepest poverty, having lost the little that she had owned, including her husband’s possessions valued at 70 pounds, which she had inherited.
Widow Simon’s declarations were causing some worry to Louis XVIII’s police. They even threatened to have her declared insane and locked away. Some policemen tried to throw suspicion on her declarations by imagining the presence of another Madame Simon in Toulon, and accusing the widow of imposture. This attempt did not succeed because, by this time, public opinion knew too much.
So, how was the Dauphin’s evasion carried out? According to Madame Simon, “a hamper which was put on a cart of dirty linen” was used, as well as a cardboard support. In the official papers, in particular those which she signed, Widow Simon puts the evasion at the moment when the death of Louis XVII was announced, in June 1795.
In these official papers, she says that she did not, herself, organize or help with the evasion, but that she only heard about it. On the other hand, she appears to have declared to a nun who was caring for her at the Hospice des Incurables: “They brought in several pieces of furniture in a carriage, a wicker hamper with a double bottom, a cardboard support; the child that was substituted for the prince was taken out and the prince was put in the carriage with the hamper… When it was time to leave, the guards wanted to inspect the carriage but I made a big fuss, pushing them, screaming that it was his dirty linen, and to let me pass.”
Therefore, some reserves must be made about the statements of Widow Simon, particularly because the date of 1795 is not possible. The substitution must have occurred in 1794 when the surveillance teams were changed. The new guardians had never seen the Dauphin and therefore were not able to denounce the deception.
On top of that, why would the Simons have taken a cart, when they had very few personal goods? Also, the child visited by Barras was in very bad health, but he was in good health during the custody of the Simons.
The Count of Frotte, famous Vendeen chief, is supposed to have taken the royal child out of Paris and favorised his flight. Unless the Dauphin died in prison, and was replaced for political reasons.
Fifth part tomorrow.
759 Cambodian children benefit from child sponsorship through Food for the Hungry. This student lives in a rural community near Anlong Veng.
Understanding. If we could all just understand each other, everything would be a lot easier. I see this in my personal relationships as well as the dynamics of working at an international non-profit.
Right now, I’m reading an update from a Hunger Corps named Katie McMurdo. “Hunger Corps” is a long-term volunteer program offered by Food for the Hungry (FH) — you raise support and go work in an FH field for three years or more. Katie is from Denver, but she recently moved to Anlong Veng, Cambodia.
Reading her update has given me just a bit more understanding of what it might be like to be born into poverty in Cambodia.
“Keep in mind that rural Cambodian schools have a lot of room for growth–most school days last for three hours or less, with teachers working either part-time or teaching two separate groups of students in the morning and afternoon,” Katie says. “The kids we saw today had already been to school and walked or biked the 10km back to Pralean in time to show up at our class around 9:30[p.m.].”
Katie was accompanying three FH Camobidan staff who conducted a Kids’ Club that night. This club is funded by child sponsorship, and one of its goals is to build upon the mediocre education offered in the formal schools (the ones that have only three hours of school per day).
At Kids’ Club, children learn basic language and math skills, English, health and sanitation, and Bible stories and prayer (where the village chiefs allow). The kids play games and sing songs. They learn that they have inherent value and can aspire to reach their dreams.
Sometimes, when I think of community development and alleviating extreme poverty, I picture clean-water wells, shiny new school buildings, and physical church buildings. I’m trying to make myself understand that the causes of poverty are so frustratingly complex that something as simple as a Kids’ Club can have lasting effects, especially in a place where the education system is so debilitated. I have to understand that while I don’t see a new church being built, the Church is being built one child at a time…inside each child’s heart. I don’t know all of the ways God is working around the world, day and night, all the time.
Learning to understand isn’t easy, because it requires me to admit I don’t have it all figured out. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong, but how we can work together to glorify God in our everyday lives; it might look a little different everywhere.
by Karen
Today is Ash Wednesday – the day that marks the beginning of the season of Lent. You can find a lot of great resources 
online to help you with Lenten practices at home or at church. Here are a few:
2. Augsburg Fortress has resources for children and adults. Check out their website for more information.
3. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but in case you missed it, there is a wonderful little devotional site online that youth might find helpful. Adults may appreciate this site, too. During the season of Lent, the site is called “Journey to the Cross.” Each day starts with a question to help you start to focus on the devotion. Then there is a Bible passage for reflection. Then there is a reflection offered by one of the writers. The fourth link is a prayer and the final link is a blessing. While you read through these reflections, meditative music is being played in the background.
4. Are you looking for something to read – and discuss during Lent? One of my favorite books is “Practicing Our Faith: A Way of Life for a Searching People.” Twelve different practices are described here: Honoring the Body, Hospitality, Household Economics, Saying Yes and Saying No, Keeping Sabbath, Testimony, Discernment, Shaping Communities, Forgiveness, Healing, Dying Well, and Singing for Our Lives. There are additional resources online related to each of these practices. Check them out! Settle into one of these practices during this season of Lent and see where the journey takes you!
5. If you haven’t discovered the Northeastern PA Synod’s Resource Center yet, here’s your link to check it out! In the advanced search you can find a variety of Lenten resources – from booklets and kits to videos and DVDs.
God be with you on your Lenten journey!
I’m going to go out and play.
Why don’t more people enjoy the day? I just don’t get it. When I was a kid……I would go outside whenever possible…..didn’t matter what the weather was….just being out in the open, alone, in the clean air…..total silence….was like dying and going to heaven.
I guess the world became too congested and complicated.
I’m one of those “weird” people who actually likes being alone. I’ve noticed that I become a real bitch to deal with when I don’t get my “alone” time. When I am bombarded with people, technology….it really wears on my soul. I have to get away….and be alone.
The sad thing is…….. it is only going to get worse (especially with all the influx of illegals….popping out babies like there is no tomorrow). Well, that is another thing to discuss at a later time.
So…..go enjoy the day….alone or not.
Ok i’m confused as hell i guess i should not be but none the less i am…. If you have four children and get a divorce? how can you not have any contact with the ex whom has custody of the children and think that its ok? How can a mother not call her children on valentine’s day and just wish them happy valentines day? How can you ignore a 10 year crying his eyes out on a holiday cause he called his mom and she did not answer? I know i’m ”just the step mom’ but i would be devastated if my children called me in tears…. and for me what can i do? i’ve tried to work with bio mom just to bit in the ass by it… i’ve comforted the kids as best as i can…. i reassure the kids as much as i can ….. i work as hard as i can to provide for them…. i do more for the children then she does yet she thinks i’m the bad guy…. I dont understand ….. I could deal with it if i was being an evil person and trying to keep the children from her but she does it herself…. she does not show up … she does not call… she does not care…… and my husband is the abuser and me big bad meane ….. but she does not take any responsibility at all…. i’ve said many times everyone is someones ex for a reason and there is no one that can be completely at fault however she does not take any responsibility why is that? Its so very hard to watch night after night….. I can’t fight it anymore…. we move on if she steps up she steps up…. i’m tired of waiting for her to do whats right!!!!
Hello all! I just thought I’d update with some sneak peaks of the projects I’ve been working on for Crittenton. Also, this is my first official WordPress ArtBlog <3 touching.
These are all small illustrations (maybe four inches by four) meant to be on a blank page accompanying type. The two people I’m working with asked for me to draw some vibrant, exciting vegetables that would appeal to a child. They’re curved and saturated and the watercolor background hopefully emphasizes their energy.
I was also supposed to make some logos for the book that could stand by themselves now, but have the potential to work as a book series logo. I gave them six to choose from, but these are my three favorites.
By the way, children’s book logos were actually a lot more complicated than I thought they would be. They’re just something I am not used to! I like designing logos for bands, for restaurants called “Martini Joy”, but I feel like this type of logo needs to be colorful, different, and maybe less… creative? As in it just needs to be a single line of type. I can’t really explain, but it was definitely a good exercise!
Otherwise, I finished a few portraits recently, I’ll have to post about them in my next entry. And also.. well, just a lot of other work in general! Busy busy busy, but I love it. Also, I’m currently facing some issues with my senior thesis show, but that’s for another time as well haha Until then, everyone, be creative : ]
-Alyssa Lee
I haven’t written a lot of anything lately. Before it was because I was busy moving and buying a house and the kids and work etc., but before it seemed if I had something to say, a need to get pen to paper I made it happen. I made the time.
Part of my problem is I am no longer around other writers. When I was in school I was around women who were smart, and inspired me. I looked forward to class and absorbing everything they said and had written. When I no longer was in school I yearned for the dialogue and the exchange of ideas, talking about writers and books, and ideas and our different opinions on the life around us, so many with different life experiences.
I then joined a writers group, I enjoyed our Saturday morning meetings, sometimes dragging on far past our set times. Listening to other writers, some professional and some, most like me, who do it for our own enjoyment and need. I met some terrific people. One who I thought was terrific, a friend and fellow writer.
He seemed to push the envelope of our friendship, then stole my trust, and lost my respect. I could no longer return to my writing group due to this broken friendship. In my very content and small life, I have very little that is my very own, my writing, just possibly, the only thing in my life that is just for me. It’s something un-similar to most of my friends and co-workers, so having this group was something I needed and yearned for and now my writing group is no longer a plausible option.
I started a book club, which in its first month is hard to tell where it will go, I hope to re-gain some of the dialogue and discussion I am missing in my life, but still, I have not re-kindled my passion for writing like I once had.
So, I will go back to the constant housekeeping and piles of work I brought home with me, hoping to find something that will inspire me to write. But until then, I will keep looking for it.
A vibrant interpretation of an Aesop’s fable roars its way to the American Library Association’s highest award for illustration
THE LION AND THE MOUSE. By Jerry Pinkney. Little, Brown, 32 pp., $16.99. Ages 6 and under.
By Janice Harayda
Whoever decided that Jerry Pinkney should do a wordless book was a genius. For decades Pinkney has been creating beautiful art that has earned him a place in the first rank of American picture-book illustrators. But some of his books have had words so much weaker than their pictures that they were hard to recommend as highly as their art seemed to demand.
The cover of 'The Lion and the Mouse.'
That’s been true whether Pinkney wrote the books or illustrated someone else’s. And until this year unexciting writing may have deprived him of a Caldecott Medal, which he won last month for The Lion and the Mouse. Caldecott judges aren’t supposed to consider the text of a book unless it interferes with the pictures, but whether or not it “interferes” is a judgment call. And by my lights, the writing in Pinkney’s books sometimes did get in the way. You just don’t want to recommend bad free verse, however attractively packaged, to preschoolers.
Pinkney needed to get words of out of the way of his pictures, and he did it in his near-wordless version of an Aesop’s fable, The Lion and the Mouse. Set in the Serengeti of Kenya and Tanzania, his adaptation teems with creatures lushly rendered in sunny watercolors: monkeys, giraffes, elephants, butterflies, gazelles and what appear to be wildebeest. Pinkney adds a few elements to the original tale of a mouse who repays a lion for saving its life by returning the favor: Most notably, he gives the mouse babies, which adds a dimension to the sparing of its life. But his art stays close to the original story and faithful to its theme: No act of kindness is ever in vain. And “the meek can trump the mighty,” as Pinkney says in an afterword.
Children over the age of 4 or so should grasp easily the plot of all this, though the only words are animal sounds such as the squeaks of mice. Whether children will grasp the moral that is indispensable to any Aesop’s fable is less clear. So some might also want to read a more traditional version or watch a lively one-minute video of “The Lion and the Mouse” based on Tom Lynch’s Fables From Aesop (Viking, 2007). Either way, the revival of this fable shows again why stories become classics: They never shed their truth but allow each generation to interpret them in its own way.
Best line/picture: The cover. Not putting type on the cover was great for two reasons. One is that it suggests that The Lion and the Mouse is wordless. The other is that cover image is so strong, type might have detracted from it. The detail is clear and rich that you can count the lion’s whiskers. Not sure why the lion is looking toward the spine instead of the pages, though, which seems to take your eyes in the wrong direction.
Worst line/picture: None. But you wonder if lions and zebras ever stayed so peacefully side-by-side as on the beautiful front endpaper.
Published: September 2009
Furthermore: Jerry Pinkney won the 2010 Caldecott Medal for The Lion and the Mouse.
Janice Harayda is a novelist and former book editor of the Plain Dealer. You can also follow her Jan (@janiceharayda) on Twitter at www.twitter.com/janiceharayda. She satirizes American literary culture on Twitter at FakeBookNews (@FakeBookNews), which you can preview at www.twitter.com/FakeBookNews. Some of her satirical tweets involve the Newbery and Caldecott awards.
© 2010 Janice Harayda. All rights reserved.
The Baptist missionaries who went down to Haiti after the earthquake were charged with kidnapping and criminal association last week. They attempted to take 33 Haitian children into the Dominican Republic without the proper documentation. According to them, they were merely trying to help. And now some of the parents’ of the children claim that they willingly gave their children to the missionaries. If that is the case, they cannot be charged with trafficking according to reports. Something about this does not sit right with me. I understand that they cannot be charged with trafficking if the parents willfully gave them their children, but who in their right mind thinks they can just go into a country, ask people to hand over their kids and then attempt to take said children into another country? Who does that?
Of course, after a natural disaster everyone with a heart wants to help- some send money, some donate clothes, some fly down with a group to help out, which is my point. If they wanted to help Haitian children, why did they not sign on to help with an established organization whose job it was to help children in Haiti? Basically, as I see it, this missionary group just took advantage of the situation and the parents’ desperation. I guarantee you that they would not have tried this had Haiti been a majority white country. Haiti’s primarily black, and it’s the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere, so they thought that they’d only be helping by circumventing Haitian laws and “rescuing” the poor black children. RIGHT.
Baby Brian’s Big Brother, Brendon. ;)
I think he is absolutely and totally adorable. He’s got a ton (a ton, mind you) of energy and spunk but he can also be such a sweetie. Must be he’s a 3-year-old little boy. 
We had a hard time to get him to smile decently. I’ve discovered its sometimes better to have the parents somewhere else, because they try so hard to please the parents that they totally forget how to smile naturally. I’ve had better results when i’m alone with the subjects and its a relaxed game not a “smile like this not like that” kind of game that confused the child. What do the experienced ones say??
These are precious, tho! It was just really hard to get a relaxed expression…
I adore this next one…
Blessings!
-SPR
Back in 1995, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a powerful statement in defense of the family and moral values. I have been meaning to post it for a while now, so here it is. Follow the links at the bottom if you are interested in more information.
The Family: A Proclamation to the WorldThe First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.
The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
For more information, follow either of these links:
http://www.LDS.org
http://www.Mormon.org
I’ve been living in England for about 6 months now, and one thing that still startles me is cinema advertising. Before the previews, there are several adverts, for everything from alcohol to cell phones to…social issues? Yes, sandwiched in with the vodka and Blackberry ads are ads that tug at your conscience. One ad was posted earlier on this blog: Pablo the drug dog. However, there is one that touched me more than Pablo. It is an advert for the Think! campaign, which seeks to get people to stay under the speed limit when it is posted as 30mph. It takes the perspective of a man who has killed a child because he was speeding, and now he has to live with that everyday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7fhzDUOsxI
Could you see something like this airing on American television? Or before the latest blockbuster movie?
In honor of National Marriage Week, which is celebrated this year from Feb. 7th to Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share a recent interview I had with Susan Dutton Freund, Executive Director of thinkmarriage.org. Her organization, based in Wisconsin, provides education, online tools and local programs to build healthier relationships. Susan is also part of a national movement to support healthy marriages.
Susan believes marriage education is “more important than ever.” She should know, after growing up in a high-conflict marriage, marrying and divorcing at a young age and raising two children on her own, and finally building a healthy and stable marriage in which to raise a family the second time around. She says our society isn’t preparing individuals for relationships as it did a century ago, when manners were taught in tight-knit communities by positive role models. “Today we live in a mobile society and are loosely networked,” Susan says. “There’s less emphasis on social mores, a do-your-own-thing mentality, separation from extended family, and an easy exit from marriage.”
Despite these challenges, a couple who works on their relationship can be successful, she says. “With a little time, thought, and effort, you can see really great things happen in your relationships.” Susan says a love letter is a tiny example of what should be in a good marriage—“pouring yourself and your affirmation, love and encouragement into another person.” She adds that a love letter not only makes your mate feel good, it also reminds you of your partner’s great attributes. That’s why her organization is offering interactive love letter kits for a nominal donation of $1.99. What a great idea for Valentine’s Day!
Susan says her organization teaches three positive messages, which she says have resonated within her community, and on a broader scale:
Stay tuned for Part II of our discussion tomorrow.
How do you plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day and National Marriage Week?
I can honestly say I do not think enough about what I put into my body. I will eat anything with cream filling and take any pill that promises energy (as long as it is legal) and I have no thought of “is this good for me?” and I wish I put half as much into my health as I did in finding the right make-up and anti-aging products.
I stopped making new years resolutions that involved the words health and food quite a few years ago and along the way I have learned that there really is no quick weight loss method and there is no such thing as a good diet of course there are healthier diets and real weight loss methods that work but that is only going to work if you want it to but nothing will work for me right now, not because im allergic to vitamins and low fat products, but because I am in love with food, head over heels crazy in love with it, it comforts me, occupies me and even takes some of the stress away.
So how am I supposed to throw a bond that deep away? Willpower! but guess what? I have no willpower, I am a quivering bowl of jelly in its presence and am rendered completely powerless… so ya, no aspirations of grandeur for me. All these things will probably tell you why I worship Paula Deen… yes, I said it, I worship, Paula Deen. If I could trade her for one of my grandparents I would (sorry Nanna, you have been chopped!)
Paula Deen in all her greatness!
In all seriousness though, I would love to have the willpower and the pure energy it would take to change but it is not my time right now. Until then I am just going to be me and try to steer my family away from the pitfall’s I have fell into, I do not allow my children soda (not that the baby would like it) and I watch what they eat, this is all I have to give.
-Nicko
Image via Wikipedia
Do the current scandals involving Tiger Woods and John Edwards have a commonality?
And did it start in infancy?…
You decide!. . .
I’m in the thick of it now!
Grandmama world is taking shape and I’ve been suddenly thrust into the babysphere.
After several 4 hour stints at the baby store, I’ve been bombarded with all the ‘necessities’ required by my granddaughter who is 1 lb 11 oz, and won’t yet be born for several months!
My daughter has hauled me through stroller 101 (some of which definitely requires strength training!), car seat safety and installation, and nipple confusion.
Yes, you heard it right!
Nipple confusion – not apparently on the psychiatric list of known disorders, but definitely a selling point for the lovely salespeople steering you to the right kind of infant bottles to purchase.
Perhaps it was because it was at the end of one of my 4 hour training sessions, or perhaps it was because I simply think it’s ludicrous, but when we went to select bottles, I recommended the tried and true version, which then led to the saleswoman informing us that we don’t choose the bottle, baby does!
I’m realizing that I’m going to be a different sort of grandmama – one that has definite opinions, and maybe just a touch of sarcasm.
No, I replied, we’ll choose the bottle and she’ll be just fine with our choice. I was also advocating that we choose a bottle that was easily replaceable in case baby was with someone who forgot the bottle, needed more, etc. (You know who I mean..)
A tongue-lashing from the helpful store staffer ensued!
Wrong, wrong, wrong – baby will choose, and we already know that she’ll prefer the most expensive bottle which most closely resembles the nipple!
The saleswoman then practically shuddered with horror at me. If I persisted in choosing something else, the baby would suffer ‘nipple confusion!’
Nipple confusion????
I was perplexed!
Perhaps the sales associate was suffering from parental confusion...who exactly is going to be running (and paying for this show?) I think the parents should be in control, not vice versa.
I asked her if nipple confusion resulted in the need for psychological therapy. She didn’t bat an eye, “Oh, it most certainly could.”
And then I heard myself saying what I realized will probably become my mantra, “We all survived just fine on a much more limited selection of nipples.”
My daughter will be the designated nipple selector. Her nipples, the bottle’s nipples…whatever!
I now realize part of my new job is to make sure the parents2B don’t give up their rights as parents. They need to call the shots as to how the baby is integrated into their household, as opposed to the baby calling the shots.
I’ve seen a lot of new parents who feel the baby’s in charge. They shake and quiver and say, “OMY, baby’s nap time is 11:00! We have to immediately leave and get her into the crib!”
Babies tell time? They chastise parents if everything isn’t on schedule?
Whatever happened to ‘go with the flow?’ Shouldn’t babies be taught to be adaptable? Does rigidity in infancy set up these kids for future failure?
Is this where the struggle for power and control begins?
Will this set the stage for teenage battles…corporate greed…political chicanery?
Does nipple confusion lead to cheating, infidelity, or sex addiction?
Do John Edwards or Tiger Woods suffer from deep rooted nipple issues sustained in infancy?
Just askin’ folks…just askin!
Baby Bottle Reviews, Best Baby Bottles – ConsumerSearch http://bit.ly/cHurWY
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Author: T.K. Reed
Publisher: iUniverse
Genre: Fantasy
ISBN: 978-1-4401-2751-9
Pages: 166
Price: $11.95
Author’s website
Buy it at Amazon
Mathew and Sue are playing in the forest when a strange man approaches. When he begs them to come with him to help save the Great Wolf, Quasar, they are quick to agree. Now they have only twenty-four hours to collect the things he needs to break an evil spell.
Accompanied by Sir Wilfred, the man from the forest, the children visit magical places and solve puzzles to retrieve the necessary items. But they have no idea what form of chaos the breaking of the spell might bring.
Mathew and Sue are kind children, willing to help out a being in need. But I never felt a real kinship with them, since their personalities were not fully revealed. They seemed to solve the riddles a little too easily, going quickly from one puzzle to the next.
I would have preferred a little more information early on about Mathew and Sue’s family life. Although the author jumps right into the plot, I would have understood their mother’s absence a little better had this been explained earlier in the story. I also found the presence of the “revolutionaries” confusing.
Troll-speak and the various creatures they encounter give Quasar and the Eye of the Serpent a magical feel, as does the glowing orb that becomes an important part of their quest. But a little more character development would enhance this fantasy.
Reviewer: Alice Berger
I had been diagnosed as pre-diabetic a few years ago, but then my numbers got better so I quit paying attention to it. I stopped taking my one little pill a day, that I was supposed to be doing. Big mistake.
This last week, I began to take my blood sugars again, as I was supposed to be doing for the last 4 months or so. Of course, the numbers were up. Not so high as to not be manageable, but I was so angry about having to deal with this at all. I have struggled enough to accept my body, and have been through a lot with it, and now I have to deal with my blood sugars again? It felt overwhleming.
I spent one whole day just feeling sorry for myself, and I didn’t even want to eat. Eating would mean I would have to deal with where the numbers were. Of course I ate, because not eating would only make it worse. After that day, my perspective turned a corner.
This should been seen as a mercy. I have been piddling around with my abstinence, and in my heart there was still a place that was looking to binge. There was still a desire to find a way to overeat, and confess it, and move on. I was still believing the lie that perhaps cheating sometimes, and planning on cheating sometimes, didn’t really matter.
And now the Lord has put me in a place where I cannot ignore it. I must take control of this now, or I will be diabetic, on insulin, and lose out on the quality of my health overall. I want to see my children grow up, get married, and to meet my grandchildren.
No more fiddling while Rome is burning. I can do this, because God will give me the strength to. I have a great sponsor who is so supportive, and-just for today- I am thankful for this. I find I cannot take this more than one day at a time, because I will be overwhelmed, and that is not God’s will for my life.
As I did dishes tonight, still high from participating in my first online #epicchat on twitter with Elizabeth and Allison that was about being epic and having adventures every day, it occurred to me that I have someone teaching me to have an epic adventure RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME…!
…and so I begin another letter for my Love Happiness Project for February, a letter to my youngest son….
My Knight in Shining Armour
To my Knight in Shining Armour,
The three of us snuggled on the bed tonight, taking turns reading from the joke books you brought home from school today. Laughing and giggling at the silliness of it all. You even made up your own joke and told your sister and I: What do you call a bug that cheats? A cheater-bug! We laughed and laughed!
Then I was doing dishes after tucking you into your camouflage bed and I thought about this Epic Adventure idea. I smiled as I thought about you and how you are always on someepic adventure in the games you play.
You see, everyone thinks that you are shy; too quiet; never speaking up. But they don’t know you as I do, my prince charming! You only answer when you feel the question is worthy of answering. You are selective in your words; only sharing that which you think is appropriate or with those you think are deserving of your words. You don’t waste time on idle chatter!
You are the most observant of my children. You notice everything. I am inspired by your attention to detail and how you can recollect things that happened years ago, and you are only 9! How do you remember these things? You don’t have to study spelling words because you just remember them! Yet you are hesitant to read aloud, because, frankly, you just want to be left to your own reading. You want to retreat into your own mind, your own adventures.
You are fierce in your protection of me. I was crying one day recently; sad and curled up on my bed, worried and wondering about my path. Your sister was a sweet and attentive nurse. You, on the other hand, were tearing up beside me, snuggling your head down into that wonderful “mom-spot” between my neck and shoulder, hiding your face so that I wouldn’t see your tears. Your little arms reached as far around me as they could and held tight. Your silent tears were what lifted me from my own sorrow to know that you cared so deeply about me that you were hurting too. How could I let you hurt for me like that?
I watch as you painstakingly set up every army guy or tiny action figure in row upon row, across the vast landscape of the green battlefields of the living room floor. They are placed strategically upon couch arms, coffee table, shelves and coasters and books all around the room.
I quietly listen to your whisperings of encouragement to your men as they tremble in fear before the coming battle. I see you line up tankers and bunkers to protect the snipers so they can perform their deadly duties.
I hear the gunshots and explosions and cries of dying men as the battle rages and you give life to the action. Men fall, vehicles tumble end over end, trees are uprooted as the war continues.
You don’t like to be noticed while you are working on these – in fact, you get quite annoyed if anyone interrupts with a question or comments on the display. Hell hath no fury as you do should anyone bump or step anywhere before the battle has begun.
For you, these games are real, they are your Epic Adventures. You are living right there with your men. They are a part of you and you of them. You are seizing that moment to just BE in that moment!
All the things I can learn from you! All the things I NEED to learn from you: your focus; your immersion in whatever you happen to be doing! The things you are able to accomplish! Your quiet dedication to your pursuits.
Help me to learn how to have my own epic adventures. Help me to not be afraid what others will think. Help me find the ability to immerse myself in my world.
The world that I am blessed to be in every day – the one right in front of me – my 3 beautiful children, my wonderful husband, and me – the person I am trying to be. You are my hero, my son. May I be good enough to be your heroine someday.
I’ve probably said it time and time again: here’s the next chapter of my life, but until now those were just words.
I’m a parent, a mother. I have a child, a daughter. This isn’t a new chapter, this is a whole new book.
If you aren’t familiar with “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, you should check it out.
Now I’m not saying that I’m postpartum psychotic but for every woman out there who has felt helpless, hopeless, aimless or overwhelmed and have stood at the brink of sink or swim to motherhood, let me just say- I understand.
Some days I can break it down as easily as a) Am I good mother? b) Am I doing this right? and c) Are we both happy? But some days are a little more complex. a) Is she crying because I’m inadequate? b) Can I calm her crying without crying myself? and c) Can I keep my stress level in check without feeling like giving up? And some days are dismal. a) Will I slip into resentment for the burden of being ultimately responsible for this child? b) Is my love untainted by feeling trapped, lost and ill-equipped? and c) Will I not be compassionate or be able to show love the way my mother couldn’t/wouldn’t?
These feelings can easily fit into: am I strong enough? That pretty much covers it. And I’m not talking about the physical pain of pregnancy, the delivery, the 4 am feedings, cracked nipples, the screaming, the crying (hers or yours), I’m talking the way she looks into your eyes in the quiet of the day when you are all alone with this little thing in your arms. She can’t speak but she says a thousand things with her heart.
Am I strong enough for this love? Because it is so big, so encompassing, so unconditional and unending.
Am I strong enough to endure what she needs of me? Because I need to show her the world, protect her from harm and make her strong enough to do it on her own.
I’m not counting the flowers in my wallpaper yet and I don’t think I will anytime soon but there are some days when I don’t believe I can express how deeply I feel about these things and in that way I feel lost. I’m not alone, millions before me and millions after me will feel these things and that is why for me I’ve decided it is important to start writing again. Happy, sad, funny, tragic, mundane, life altering, silly, crazy, plain, whatever these days will bring I believe at this moment that I am strong enough.
I do believe that I will have many more of these moments.
I have been blessed with quite a support system, so much of one that people often comment on it. I received another email message today commenting on my “amazing support system.” And, I do. I have been blessed with amazing friends: friendships that have been cultivated over decades and some that are just a few months old. And yet, when I look at my support system, one of the things I notice is that a good many of these people are not people that I know very well, but people who know my children. My children are the ones with the amazing support system. And this brings me such comfort.
I find myself drawn ever tighter into a network of intricate bonds of support that I am both humbled and amazed by. Most times, I don’t feel worthy of the generosity that we have been shown. I feel like I haven’t been a generous person, and maybe that is why I strive to give back in this way. In sharing my journey with you, warts and all, I feel like I am giving of myself…even if it is through words and not currently of deeds.
One of the most surprise of bonds happened this week. As some of you may have noticed, to the left of my writing there is a section down the page called Blog Roll. Here I list a smattering of blogs that I personally follow, most of them non-cancer related.
A few weeks (maybe 6-8) ago, I had written a post about my wig, and being curious I typed “wig” into the search engine for wordpress, which is the host site for my blog. Up came a few blogs, and one caught my eye immediately, The Carcinista. The blog is written in a funny, snarky, irreverent way by a 2 1/2 time ovarian cancer survivor. I loved the tone, the cadence and the storytelling of her blog. I loved the spirit I heard in her writing, and the honesty that she brought to difficult, emotionally draining subjects. I dropped a few comments, and we became fans of each others blogs. And, by all rational assumptions, it should have ended there.
But, Karma has an interesting way of doing her thing. After my last post, a friend from my Gymboree days dropped me a note by Facebook. She had two high school friends that were currently dealing with their own battles with cancer, and maybe I would like to connect with them. She didn’t say what kind of cancer they had, and she didn’t say how she would put us in touch, but that was quickly answered by this email that she forwarded to me (I put in all the asterisks so as to protect personal information that The Carcinista and KLB might not want you to have):
Kick Ass Cancer Girls !!Sunday, January 31, 2010 10:29 AM
From: This sender is DomainKeys verified “KLB” View contact details
To: “Eileen”
Subject: Eileen….My friend S****’s information….Please connect ! I think you two would have a lot to talk about……
i’d be happy to speak with your friend. if she’s not ready to chat she can hit up my blog (www.carcinista.com) but feel free to give her my email address (s**********@***.com) and you could also send her to planetcancer.com or i2y.com (i’m too young for this/stupidcancer) for more young-cancer-survivor fun. i’m sorry to hear she’s out there, but happy to band together with like-minded ass-kickers. thanks for thinking of me!
she doesn’t by any chance blog as “my name is not cancer girl”, does she?
s
It took me a minute to wrap my head around it, how could KLB have known The Carcinista from high school, and still be in touch, and all the other tenuous circumstances that made it so that we were actually “meeting?” The line from Casablanca still keeps reverberating in my head” ”Of all gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” It’s not quite a gin joint (and I’d prefer Hangar One Vodka over gin anyway), but a random cancer blog on the internet…that’s pretty remarkable.
So while there is much to be said about all the crap we endure, there are so many good things. Thank you Karma for taking care of me, and my family, as we navigate this craziness together with those that support us.
