Tiger Woods and John Edwards - Did It Start With The Bottle?

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Do the current scandals involving Tiger Woods and John Edwards have a commonality?

And did it start in infancy?…

You decide!. . .

I’m in the thick of it now!

Grandmama world is taking shape and I’ve been suddenly thrust into the babysphere.

After several 4 hour stints at the baby store, I’ve been bombarded with all the ‘necessities’ required by my granddaughter who is 1 lb 11 oz, and won’t yet be born for several months!

My daughter has hauled me through stroller 101  (some of which definitely requires strength training!), car seat safety and installation, and nipple confusion.

Yes, you heard it right!

Nipple confusion – not apparently on the psychiatric list of known disorders, but definitely a selling point for the lovely salespeople steering you to the right kind of infant bottles to purchase.

Perhaps it was because it was at the end of one of my  4 hour training sessions, or perhaps it was because I simply think it’s ludicrous, but when we went to select bottles, I recommended the tried and true version, which then led to the saleswoman informing us that we don’t choose the bottle, baby does!

I’m realizing that I’m going to be a different sort of grandmama – one that has definite opinions, and maybe just a touch of sarcasm.

No, I replied, we’ll choose the bottle and she’ll be just fine with our choice.  I was also advocating that we choose a bottle that was easily replaceable in case baby was with someone who forgot the bottle, needed more, etc.   (You know who I mean..)

A tongue-lashing from the helpful store staffer ensued!

Wrong, wrong, wrong – baby will choose, and we already know that she’ll prefer the most expensive bottle which most closely resembles the nipple!

The saleswoman then practically shuddered with horror at me.  If I persisted in choosing something else, the baby would suffer ‘nipple confusion!’

Nipple confusion????

I was perplexed!

Perhaps the sales associate was suffering from parental confusion...who exactly is going to be running (and paying for this show?)  I think the parents should be in control, not vice versa.

I asked her if nipple confusion resulted in the need for psychological therapy.  She didn’t bat an eye, “Oh, it most certainly could.”

And then I heard myself saying what I realized will probably become my mantra, “We all survived just fine on a much more limited selection of nipples.”

My daughter will be the designated nipple selector.  Her nipples, the bottle’s nipples…whatever!

I  now realize part of my new job is to make sure the parents2B don’t give up their rights as parents.  They need to call the shots as to how the baby is integrated into their household, as opposed to the baby calling the shots.

I’ve seen a lot of new parents who feel the baby’s in charge.  They shake and quiver and say, “OMY, baby’s nap time is 11:00!  We have to immediately leave and get her into the crib!”

Babies tell time?  They chastise parents if everything isn’t on schedule?

Whatever happened to ‘go with the flow?’ Shouldn’t babies be taught to be adaptable?  Does rigidity in infancy set up these kids for future failure?

Is this where the struggle for power and control begins?

Will this set the stage for teenage battles…corporate greed…political chicanery?

Does nipple confusion lead to cheating, infidelity, or sex addiction?

Do John Edwards or Tiger Woods suffer from deep rooted nipple issues sustained in infancy?

Just askin’ folks…just askin!

Baby Bottle Reviews, Best Baby Bottles – ConsumerSearch http://bit.ly/cHurWY

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