Many of you will be familiar with the traditional story of the Easter Bunny, who lollops along clutching a basket full of cocoa based goodness for our delight and delectation. You may even be hazily aware that this image of fecund sexuality is somehow linked to the idea that Cheezus went and killed himself on some sticks with some vinegar, some centurions and buckets of blood, all for us. Me, I’ve always preferred the harmless rodent clutching chocolate treats idea, but then I’m religion lite and prone to getting hysterical about death, so don’t feel you have to join me.
Oscar fully embraces my Cadbury based version of events, and yesterday drew me this picture:
which is a little hard to see, but basically shows the Easter Bunny, some fluffy chicks, a basket and a large, Ben Ten Omnitrix Watch (the cartwheel looking thing in the foreground, which I helped a little with). There is also an abundance of chocolate eggs. The watch goes with the eggs as the ultimate Eastertide treat. I believe the large squiggly thing in the middle is the bunny, the lesser squiggles are the chicks, and the round shapes are the eggs.
All very good. All mostly traditional. Plus he cannot be blamed for the Ben Ten thing, because there is indeed a large chocolate egg branded with Ben Ten’s gurning teenage face, and which promises an egg and an Omnitrix. This part of the picture is in fact the only bit of it which can claim to be drawn from life, as opposed from peculiar mythological fantasy ramblings.
The next picture however is not so traditional. It appears that I was missing a crucial part of the Easter story and Oscar was kind enough to fill me in, complete with diagrams.
Hence:
This is the Easter Kitten. The Easter Kitten is incredibly long, incredibly furry and rather scary if truth be told. To the left is the tail end, to the right is the face end. You may think that the round things are Easter eggs, but they are in fact, eyes. The Easter Kitten has many and numerous eyes. He uses them apparently, to help the Easter Bunny look for people to deliver eggs to. Which is nice. You will note the fact that the Easter Kitten has no legs. He has no need of legs, and is a giant, multiply eyed fur slug type thing. Which is also nice.
Probably they don’t tell ordinary children about the Easter Kitten because he’s rather scary and prone to provoking nightmares in the under fives.
Ever keen to advance my knowledge and learn from my children, who are all prodigies in their own particular way, I thought this piece of valuable folk wisdom was too important not to share with you. Just don’t tell the children.
No comments:
Post a Comment