I’m about 99% sure that if I ever get married, there will be no children involved. One, because I want to have a career that will leave me with very little time to spend changing diapers and wiping spit-up off my expensive clothing; two, because most marriages end in divorce, and divorce is hell on children involved in them. Case in point: my parents are ridiculous beings, and insist on involving me in their ridiculousness at almost every turn.
It’s spring break, and I have two weeks off this year. Which should be a time for me to just relax and not have to stress or worry about anything. But no, I have to deal with my dad’s demand that I spend time with him, and my mom’s constant need to monopolize my time. I love my dad, but honestly, I really just want to sit at home-my mom’s house-and do nothing. This break was supposed to give me some alone time. My mom is working and my sister is at school. Except the only time I could spend with my dad was this week, and he doesn’t work outside the home, and my step-mom has a job, she just never seems to go to it. So I’m going to have no time alone. What I really want to do is stay up late, sleep in late, watch crap tv and lay around with my laptop. But of course my dad wants to give me a hard time for sleeping in, and then he’s always bugging me about doing things, or talking to him. I don’t want to fucking talk. I just want to spend my break by myself. Because before I know it, it will be time to go back to school, back to living with 100 other girls, back to living with my roommate. And it’s kind of hard to get time alone when my roommate is always around. To top it off, by the time I go back to my mom’s house-where I really want to be-I’ll be getting my wisdom teeth out, and my mom will constantly be around.
It’s so frustrating. I’m constantly put in the middle because they each want to spend as much time with me as possible, and it’s like a constant tug-of-war for who gets me when. I’m just glad that there aren’t any formal “parenting times” anymore. That was torture when I was younger, and it would be even more annoying now. I honestly can’t wait to go to college, so I won’t have to deal with this anymore. I thought it would be different when I went away to school this year, but it’s not. Hence, me not having children. I don’t want to put any children through the hell that I go through sometimes.
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